You know that scene in Jurassic Park, when the lady Doctor sticks her hands in the Dino poop to figure out why the Dinosaur is sick...and Ian Malcolm says "She's...ah...tenacious".?
How about obsessive.
Yea...well...that's me. Except without the dino poop. But only because I don't have any. I'm sure if I have a huge pile of dino crap in my back yard, and sick triceratops , I would be elbow high in dino droppings to figure out what was wrong with him.
You see, I get things stuck in my head. And like a bad song, I can't get rid of them until I DO something about it. It's why furniture gets moved as often as it does, or a room gets painted so suddenly... it's because I can't just sit on it for a while. Once it's in my head - I have to do something about immediately. I am "instant gratification" girl. I imagine this can be seen as a bad trait, however, I am also the girl that gets shit done. If there's a project to be done, no sense in sitting around and talking about it - let's tackle it. Regardless if I actually no HOW to do it or not.
It's also provides quite a bit of blog fodder.
However, some projects aren't the "home improvement" type. Some of them are the "I should do xyz..." type.
Like the other day when discussing a recent episode of Lost with my husband I said "I really should go back and watch all 5 seasons of Lost over again."
That's where I've been for the last two weeks. Every waking moment that hasn't been spent working, parenting, or being poked by a doctor has been spent in front of this computer (ironically named Charlie by the way) logged onto Hulu.com, watching all five seasons of Lost over again.
I am a Lost God.
Ask me ANYTHING...I am warped. I am twisted around this show. I have twisted others with me. I have a notepad and a pen in my purse for when brilliant ideas occur to me. I have blurted those brilliant ideas at unsuspecting strangers...all I've gotten in return are strange looks and business cards for more doctors. I have read 'hot theories' online and ridiculed others for their lack of creativity.
I only have two people in my life who watch this show...and one of them is starting to avoid my phone calls and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to cause martial discord in the other.
It wasn't too long ago that on a day to day basis I learned something new from the internet that could ultimately hurt me and the baby that I was I was trying to grow. Just the possibility that by breathing in the BO of the person next to me was going to change the molecular make up of my child and make her a Cyborg....(wait...A Cyborg or The Cyborg?) It's a wonder that I even got in the car and drove to the hospital to have her ... but living one more day with a 10 pound weight on my bladder, and not being able to tell if my shoes matched was not an option.
Things haven't changed much in the last 4 1/2 years. I imagine it's the same for most of you. Outside of the average sniffle, ache or pain - if anything "odd" happens to us, we generally jump on the internet to self diagnose ourselves. There are millions of websites you can go to, and hundreds of deeply disturbed people out there, more than willing to lend a diagnosing hand.
As I'm sure ya'll are tired of reading - I am knee deep in the self diagnosing stages of what ever is currently happening inside this cranium of mine. Every day I find a new article, new blog or some BRAND NEW INFORMATION that could lead to the CURE OF MIGRAINES. I read every word....I scour every article, hoping to find something that I could use.
I got a glimmer of hope the other day. An article that sounded SERIOUSLY promising. This thing was well written...sounded as though it was written by bright, intelligent people. Maybe not people with medical degrees - because it wasn't dripping with words I couldn't pronounce...but with a medical undertone. The idea behind the article was some simple "re-wiring" of the brain. The in's and out's of migraines, how they work, and some "alternative"treatments that could potentially re-wire the brain and end migraines forever.
With each word, I'm inching closer and closer to my computer screen. Only to get to the end of the end of the article and find that to rewire my brain I need to get my hands on some LSD and mushrooms.
Apparently that's the only "alternative" way to re-wire my brain.
The only mushrooms I know of are the ones growing in my backyard....
Today my daughter asked me what Eunuch meant. My first reaction was "Um, why?"...because if they are discussing castration in Junior Kindergarten then clearly education is WAY more advanced than it was in my day.
Turns out they were reading The Backyardigans.
See the connection?
Neither did I.
Turns out one of the characters is named Unique.
Not an interesting post I'll grant you - but I really wanted to push down the Vagina Cooking one. I noticed that I'm getting traffic directly from Facebook....and it's a little scary to think that folks that thought I was crazy in high school are sitting there thinking..."Well, yep - She's still bat shit crazy!"
But I'm working on a post where I'm a total moron - and I'm in a room with a bunch of people that don't talk like me, but I talk like them, and one of them is Dr. Phil. And in all honesty, is there really anyone cooler than Dr. Phil?
In other news, I mentioned to my sister I was having a hard time coming up with material lately. Once you write about your private parts...it's really all down hill. So, if you've got any burning questions for me - go for it...it may light my creative fires, so to speak.
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