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My husband is from Pennsylvania.  I actually wouldn't say he's from Pennsylvania - but he was born there. In a small town.

Like SMALL. Like - take a left at the big stump, pass the burnt down outhouse, drive down the gravel road until you see the green tractor - kind of small.  Throw a rock in this town, and you'll hit another rock.

He moved around a lot, but spent the majority of his life where we are now. Lucky for him, I say.  But a good portion of his family stayed there.  The part of the family we don't see all that often to tell you the truth.  Nothing against them really - but traveling the Pennsylvania Turnpike is a lot like playing Russian Roulette.

However, about a year before we were married his Grandmother was gettin' on, and the end was getting near - and she decided she wanted to meet me before she died.  Strange death bed request to make - I KNOW - but it was certainly a request we were willing to fulfill.

We took off in the snow and headed out to my Husbands No Name Small Birth Town to see his Grandmother.  We eventually landed at the Ramada Inn, Formerly The Holiday Inn, Formerly The Route 14 Hotel.  We know it was all these things because the remnants of the last three owners were still all over the hotel.  The sign said Ramada, the keys said Holiday Inn, but all the linens were prison stamped with Route 14.  It was an interesting hotel to say the least.

We open the door to our room which I can only describe as 90 feet long - but only 11 feet wide. The only things IN the room were a bed, the tv and a FULL SIZE refrigerator.  I'm not even kidding you.  This seemed to us like something you would want to highlight in your brochure - but this dual personality hotel didn't have a brochure.  So, it was like a neat surprise for unsuspecting guests.  "Hey! If I knew I could have brought everything from the kitchen I would have!!"

Perplexed by the size of the fridge - but determined to use the fridge - we set out for some dinner, and maybe a 7-11 to grab some beers for the room.

We grab some dinner at a local pub and as we were paying the check, I asked the waitress where I could pick up some beer. She responded "I'll get one for ya"

I explained to her that I didn't want another beer HERE, but we wanted them back at our room.
She kept telling me she understood and that SHE WOULD GET IT.
It took me a good 10 minutes to figure out that in PA, you don't GO to 7-11 to buy beer. You go to a BAR to buy beer.  And GET IT TO GO.  Seriously y'all - she gave me a six pack in a To-Go bag.

The idea still boggles my mind to tell you the truth.  The whole time we were there I did not see one 7-11.

I appreciate the fact that my daughter is being raised in a town with 24 hour Slurpee access.


Brakes and Gas said...

I love Pennsylvania but I've been to one too many dry parties (who does that?) there to ever seriously consider taking up residence!

Mad Woman said...

As someone who is currently going through some serious 7-11 withdrawals...WTF?! How do they not have one?

Mind you, I can buy my beer and wine in the grocery store here....which I couldn't in Canada, so that's a step up I guess.

kyslp said...

I get it. The county that we live in is dry. They can't even serve alcohol at the country club.

Mama Cas said...

Slurpee access is mandatory. So is a good pizza delivery place. And Chinese food delivery. And sushi delivery. All of these things are key reasons why I will not be moving back to the middle-of-nowhere town I was born in. Plus, I'm a total NY snob. I will be a Long Islander until the day I die.

mumma boo said...

And you probably paid three times as much for that six pack as you would have anywhere else! Two states that won't have me joining their voter registration rolls any time soon - PA and UT.

Belle said...

What if you want to buy a shitload of alcohol and not look like an alcoholic? What is a person to do!?

Aunt Juicebox said...

How awesome would that be to like, stop at the McD's drive thru and get a six pack with your Big Mac? rofl Or the bank? HAHAHA

just making my way said...

Gah! I missed this post!

I like going to FL to visit my parents because they sell alcohol in the grocery store. Don't find that in the North where I live.

Now I want a slurpee.

Bejewell said...

When we visited the small Kansas town where my husband grew up, we passed by the local McDonalds only to see the golden arches laying on the ground and the building boarded up. Freakin' MCDONALD'S couldn't make it there.

I've never gotten over that. I've also never gone back.

publicknitting said...

People used to try to take wine to go when I work in the restaurant business. I would always explain to them that they couldn't do that and they were always like, we know.

Margaret said...

You CAN buy beer at beer distributors, it's not ALL bar and pub. Though, we are new to PA and this stumps me as well. ALSO, you're not allowed to order wine on the internets and have it shipped to you. Because PA wants your tax $$. Don't even get me started on the DMV situation (or lack thereof... you go to the License Center to get your license, the auto tag place to get your car registered and then to wherever you please for your emissions. And you repeat all these steps every two years.