The Mini Van Soap Box

Some of you may remember when I admitted here that I was a little crazy, and probably in some need of therapy or at the very least some prescription medication. Now, while some of you may think it was 'brave' to admit my issue here, the truth is, none of you know me and couldn't pick me out of line up if given the chance. So, it wasn't all that brave. Additionally, outside of my immediate family, most of my friends don't know I'm crazy.  So, admitting here was more of a "I have to tell someone or go even more crazy, and I'm sure as shit not going to tell someone that actually comes to my house".

Since then things have been about the same. The night long panic attacks have been less, I'll admit, but the constant worrying over things is still always there. Problem is that the older she gets, the more activities there are and the more she's "out there".  The latest and greatest of these activities is Girl Scouts.  My girl is a Daisy now. Yes, it's all very cute and sweet and Girl Power - but I was slightly disillusioned about what the whole thing was about.  I thought at THIS age, it was mostly just going to be meetings, and coloring and songs and some stupid crap. I didn't think the girls were actually going to GO places. I mean, they are only FIVE for crying out loud.

So, last night was our third meeting.  At this point I would say I've only learned about half of the other mom's names and just learned what it means to "iron on" petals - when we got the schedule for the next three months. We spent about 30 seconds discussing each item and quickly moved on to the next...and this is when my heart palpitations kicked in.  One of the activities involves dropping our girls off and THEN LEAVING THEM for quite some time. Even as I type these words I realize what a complete and total asshole I sound like for even freaking out about this, but my immediate thought was "over my dead body".

Here's the thing.  I don't know these people. I only hired a babysitter after she babysat for a friend of mine for over two years. But I just found it shocking that not one Mom had any questions about this outing. Everyone just nodded their head, and we moved on.  So, I think I might have inadvertently gone public last night with my...issues. With my daughters Girl Scout Troop. "Are you going to be responsible for our girls? Who's going to watch them? If I drop off my daughter DO YOU GUARANTEE ON YOUR LIFE THAT SHE WILL BE THERE WHEN I GET BACK?"

I never really got firm answers to my questions, but I did get some funny looks, and a few ladies asked me if I only had one child.

Yea, like I haven't heard THAT before.

It happened again.

Around the beginning of December, most of the TV/Movie/Music magazines I read were doing their usual "Best Of The Year" lists. Entertainment Weekly (online) has some great "Best Of" lists, that for the most part I've usually agreed with it - be it music, television or movies. (Just because I don't actually see movies IN the theater doesn't mean I don't actually SEE the movies. I just see them a year after everyone else does).

However, at the end of this last year not only did we get the "Best Of The Year" lists, we also got a lot of "Best of the Decade" lists.  Most of these lists didn't surprise me. I haven't watched all these shows, but I've certainly heard enough water cooler talk about them to know that they were insanely popular - so not surprised to see them on a "Best Of" list of any kind.  Like The Sopranos.  Or The Office.  Or Arrested Development.

I was, however, surprised to see Battlestar Galactica.

Now you guys know how EASILY sucked into something I am.  Already in the last year my husband has somehow just merely MENTIONED a show...and the next thing we know I've watched TEN freakin' season of Stargate SG1.  TEN SEASONS! That's devotion y'all. And then to further my embarrassment I jumped right into Stargate Atlantis right after I was done with that.

Netflix was created for people like me.

So, I'm reading through this "Best Of" list and I'm slightly surprised to see Battlestar there. Really? Best of? Why did my husband never mention it to me? Actually, as a matter of fact I do believe that he even once said  that I wouldn't like it all that much.

Too Late.  I'm knee deep in Cylons, and the search for Earth and the Final Five...whatever the shit that means. I keep running into the other room and screaming things like "Holy Crap is Starbuck a Cylon!?! NO! Don't tell me! Go Away!"

And he's all...."I'm in the shower you crazy woman....YOU go away."

The sad thing is...I KNEW going into this that this show ended badly. I mean, I remember when the whole show was over and my husband was upset.  It was like that whole Soprano debacle. I never watched it, but I knew people were pissed with how that show ended.  And even knowing that....I've invested this time in a show I KNOW is going to end badly.

I'm pretty sure my turn to the dark side is almost complete.  I'll be going out this weekend to buy some 12 sided dice so I can start working on my charisma points.

P.S.          If that last sentence makes no sense to you, or if it isn't funny at all...You've never dated/married or MET anyone that's into D&D.
P.P.S.      That's probably a good thing
P.P.P.S.   I find it very funny that the only word in this post that the spellchecker won't give up on is Cylon.

I had this great post put together about parents that will babysit for you, and Avatar and how awesome it is to get out of the house for a few hours because oh-my-gosh-being-stuck-in-the-house-for-two-weeks-with-a-five-year-old-was-making-my-brain-bleed. But I'm going to have to save it for another day because, well,  that was pretty much it, and I was going to have to make it stretch.

However, I was thinking the other day about an article that I read a long time ago. I'm not sure who wrote it, or even why, but the basic premise of the article was do's and don't for bloggers. It was years ago that I read it, and I think that some of the rules have changed somewhat. I don't remember a lot of them - probably because I break all of them. They were things like:

• Blog on a regular schedule. Try a Monday, Wednesday, Friday routine.
• Don't curse too much. Don't alienate your readers.
• Try to keep your post topics up to date and current.

See? What jerk wad wrote this?

However, the ONE rule that has stuck with me, and I have no idea why, was way down on the list:

"Don't ever start a blog post with the words, "The thing you don't know about me is....."

I wonder why? I don't think that would bother ME all that much if someone else said that. I mean, what IS a blog if it isn't about YOU? Right? However, I've gone back and realized that I have, in fact, never started a blog with those words.  But I am going to use them now.

The thing you don't know about me is that I sell Avon part time.  (This is leading somewhere, I swear. And it's not a sales pitch) I've been doing it for a while now, and I enjoy it a great deal.  It's a little extra money in our pockets and it keeps me from selling all our stuff on Ebay.  It works with my already full time job and I can do as little or as much as I want.

Anyway...for every company that sells something, there are people that are going to try to scam you. You just have to be smart and read between the lines.  Chances are if some lady wants some body wash and a tube of lipstick it's legit.  But when you get orders for 47 orders of Anew and 37 watches....Raises a red flag, right.  How many arms do you have?

Other day I get an email just like this except this time, it's with the sad story.  She's a single mother of two who fallen on hard times, but absolutely loves the products.  However, she does not deal with credit cards (ding, ding, ding) at all.  If I could please order these 38 things for her, she would really appreciate it.  If I could please send her my PERSONAL (like hell) contact information, she'll be sure to send me the money (I'm so sure).

Here's the best part of the email.  I've cut and paste it so you can see it in it's pure glory:

you dont need to be bothered by the shipment i have a shipper that ships for me and shipper is always busy, but the shipper has been shipping for me for the last 5 years so after you have received no problem about shipping.

What? Who? What shipper? And who's busy? Me or your shipper? And if your shipper has been doing this for five years, than why don't you go ask THEM for the 38 things that you want? I would also like to add that the entire email was like this. One enormous run on sentence with no punctuation or capitalized letters.

It was extraordinary.  It was like those emails you get from the President of Bahrain offering to send you millions of dollars if you'll only send him your social security number.