The Mini Van Soap Box

Addiction is a real thing. Some people have a more addictive personality than others, while others have such a strong will that they think that addiction of any kind is not real – or just a sign of weakness.

Be whatever your particular addiction is: chances are it’s very real. Sex, Booze, Cigarettes, Gambling….are just a few to name.

Just in a quick search online I found “anonymous” groups for : Vulgarity, Narcotics, Emotions, Debtors, Alcoholics, Overeaters…and even Cat Addicts.

I will be the first to admit I have addictions. I am a smoker, a drinker and a day without Diet Coke is a day without sunshine. However, in defense of myself I WAS able to stop all those things the day I even THOUGHT about becoming pregnant. It’s important for me to explain – mostly because I at least know I CAN stop. I just choose not to at this point.

All of the above is the lead in to today’s post.

My new addiction.

I believe that I (as well as my older sister…sorry…I’m outing you) are the PERFECT demographic for infomercials. WE are the reason people make them. This weakness that we have allows us to sit on our couch and think to ourselves “Yes, I HAVE been wishing I had some way of making pasta is a round clear tube in only 6 seconds. Thank God I saw this commercial!”

I have over the years ordered a NUMBER of things on TV. I have the magic bullet, the ab- lounger, some vacuum thing, Turbo Jam workout routine, Oxy Clean products, that Tupperware swivel thing…and yes, I even at one time ordered the Richard Simmons Dancing to the Oldies. That is probably a very short list of all the things that have graced the shelves of my home, collecting dust over the years.

So, like I said – my new addiction.

Yahoo Games Online

The Setup:

Yahoo Online Games lets you peruse the games that they offer online. If you decide you would like to check one out – you just download the trial version. It allows you to play the game for an hour. Once the hour is up, the game will end quite abruptly and asks you “you’ve played for an hour – would you like to purchase this game”

The Game:

Imagine yourself a lowly shop owner. The most famous chocolate maker in the world has asked that you help her in her shop. Apparently her family’s world famous chocolate recipes have been scattered across the globe because of a family feud. You are tasked with making chocolates, selling them – and traveling the world in search of all the famous recipes. Along the way you will see distant and exotic lands, shop is open air markets for the special ingrediats you need and meet interesting people.

The Scam:

If you choose to take the “tutorial” just to understand HOW to play – that alone takes about 30 minutes, which only leaves you about 30 minutes of “free” play until the screen goes black. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to stop playing before I’ve gotten the recipe for the Limited Series Milk Chocolate Blended Trinidad Raspberry Truffles. Not to mention the port to Hong Kong and Sydney hasn’t even become available to me because I’m still just a novice chocolatier.

And don’t even get me started on the damn cross pollinating problem that I’m having trying to find the last two “magic plants”.

They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step.

I'm officially a 'real' website.

You can google 'minivan soapbox' - - and my little website is the first on the list.

Go forth and google.

This last weekend - the husband and I were both pretty just "out of it". We've spent about two weeks now of weird sleeping patterns due to the spawns desire to watch Jo Jo's Circus at 4:00 in the morning. We're not exactly sure WHY she's getting up so damn early. Maybe she has to pee - maybe she had a bad dream - or maybe she's just a whack job. Regardless of what the issue is - she's the type of child that once she wakes up...That's it. She's up.

We were hoping that moving her into her new and improved room would at least alleviate the desire to sit in bed with US on these mornings. Given the fact that she has more room to play and move, plus the addition of the television....(and the addition of Odin - God of Fur).....That would enable her sleep deprived parents to lay in bed a bit longer to stare at the ceiling, declaring "today....she is YOUR daughter".

Alas, this really hasn't seemed to help much. There is still the every 15 minute request for something. We try to head these requests off early. We pee, get a banana, get juice, turn the tv on, hand her some toys - and then head back to bed. It's amazing what she'll come up with just to make us interact with her.

Anyway, like I said, given the sleep pattern - this last weekend - we were sort of just 'vegged' (lay like broccoli).

At some point during the Sunday session of being human steamed vegetables, and apparently NOT paying a whole lot of attention to our daughter, she drew this.










Ok...yes, I realize it's a goofy drawing of what SHE says is a bunny. However, that isn't my point. I realize that I'm slightly biased....but I think this is BRILLIANT for a three year old. I mean - Seriously! She's only three!!!!

I'm still not entirely convinced that she did this herself. When he handed the etch a sketch thing to me to show me, I actually complemented HIM on his drawing! He corrected me and let me know that she did it.

Again - I'm not so sure.

I've been trying to get her to duplicate some resemblance of this since Sunday, and all I've gotten is squiggle lines and mush.

Time will tell I suppose.

I do think that if anything shows up again though - I'll be looking into some toddler art classes.

She may not be able to name a dog anything more creative than "Dog"....but she's a Picasso in the making!

While although my husband will argue the roots of this story....

Many moons ago, I had a boyfriend who had a dog. A beautiful, very well behaved and trained Golden Retriever named Thor. Now, although the DOG was beautiful, well behaved and trained - the boyfriend lacked those qualities. Even though it took a VERY long time - He was eventually kicked to the curb. Shortly after the very tumultuous breakup - Michael would say that one day he was going to get a dog and name him Odin.

Let's rewind MANY MANY moons ago to the world of Norse Mythology. Thor was the God of Thunder - typically depicted in pictures with his big ass hammer riding a chariot and fighting the giants. He was also the son of Odin. It is written that Thor surpassed his father in popularity - many believe that his popularity with the people was due to the fact that, unlike his father, Thor did not require human sacrifice. (Personally - I would be a big fan of that as well).

However popular Thor was, his powers would certainly not surpass his Fathers. Odin - known as the God Of War, Battle and Death - was also known for his magic and powers to tilt a battle in the way he wanted. His trickery, cunning and deception were also a handy trait when he wanted to swindle the blood of Kvasir from the dawrves.

However, I digress.

So, as stated Michael wanted to get a dog, specifically a big dog, and name him Odin. Now, I'm not entirely sure it was because he wanted his dog to "subconsiously" be better then the bad boyfriends dog - Or if he actually literally wanted his dog to EAT the bad boyfriends dog....I suppose we'll never know.

However, we now have our big dog.

Meet Odin - God Of Fur











What?? You think I'm crazy??? Of course he isn't real. He is however almost the full length and width of the spawns twin bed - and very soft.

This is the great thing about being a Grandparent I think. All the things that we would never dream of buying our own children - I think the grandparents take a certain joy in getting them.

I also think that they had a great time getting it for her and presenting her with it - Not to mention the amount of children that they made almost pee in their pants in the middle of Costco. I imagine every six year old that was there was given a glimmer of hope that if another adult was to buy this massive mattress of a dog - than maybe their parents would as well.

She named him "Dog". She may be brilliant - but she's not very creative it seems. So, after some thinking I helped her out and asked if mommy could name him for her. She didn't really seem to care all that much.

So, I was finally able to give him his big dog and name him Odin. He watches over her as she sleeps and hangs out on the floor at the foot of her bed.

Couple Monday morning tidbits for you today:


Every morning after we get dressed, Andie stands on the toilet seat and I do her hair. She decides how many rubber bands, one or two, and what color she would like. This morning she decided on two - which is rare - since she's not a huge fan of getting her hair brushed. So, with pigtails done we venture downstairs to begin the quest for the shoes when she stops in front of the hall mirror to examine her new 'do'... at which points she tells me:

"I'm as pretty as a cow"

Not a butterfly, Not a bird....but a cow. Ok........Sure! Now.... while I don't find cows overly REPULSIVE creatures - I have also never thought while driving down the street - "What a magnificent cow!".

But hey - if she thinks they are pretty....More power to her. I just hope she doesn't grow up to be a vegetarian! :)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hair done, shoes found and juice box in hand, we start climbing into the Mommy Van to head off for another exciting day of learning and play—when she excitedly tells me, again, that she’s pretty. What follows is our conversation on our way to school.

“I pretty!”

“Yes, baby—you’re very pretty”

“You and me! Pretty!”

“Why thank you!”

“Andie has big hair like mama!”

“Hmm...Mama has big hair?”

“Yea”

“Daddy has no hair”

“No, baby—Daddy doesn’t have any hair”

“Mama took it all”



Heh.