The Mini Van Soap Box

The items our hearts most desire when we are young are often simple things. Now looking back - I still smile when I think of the Christmas that I got my Barbie Doll Dream House. I'm not entirely sure if it's a real memory I have, or a picture that I've seen many times over my 30 some years, but I feel like I remember running into the living room and seeing that huge home for all my Barbies (and Ken, ugh) to live.

The year my sister and I got a box full of one dollar bills is another great one. It could have been just $40 dollars total for all we knew...but it didn't matter. We giggled and laughed like we had won the lottery....pulled each crumpled bill out, rubbing the wrinkles out - and counting each one out.

The year of my first phone was a big year...and oddly enough....the year I got my Freaky Freddy is still very clear in my mind. I say oddly because I think I was probably well into my teen years, and physically WEPT when I opened that box.

I still have Freddy to this day.

Sadly, as we grow older, our 'wants' become larger and ultimately more expensive. It certainly does not help that with each passing day, more and more technology is being discovered and/or advanced to make our lives easier and faster, so much so that the cell phone or the tv we just bought yesterday is now obsolete.

That being said....I'm no different...I want expensive stuff. A lot of people have asked me this Christmas season what I would like, or maybe even just a hint as to what I would like, and for the life of me...I haven't been able to come up with one thing that wasn't insanely tacky to mention. How exactly do you say "I'm sorry - everything on this list requires the giver to have buckets of money to blow on little ol' me".

So unless anyone reading this can give me: World Peace, a stop to all domestic and child abuse, a cure for AIDS or cancer, better care for our elderly, and a guarantee that all child molesters will rot in jail for the rest of their lives...............the following is what has really been my Ridiculous Christmas Wish List....(just remember...I already said it was tacky)

Digital Camera and a Digital Recorder
I'm not exactly sure if it's the camera or the operator of the camera - but every picture I've taken of this child has sucked since she turned three. The batteries get their lives sucked out of them in about 7 pictures, and I've become the crazy lady that carries 32 AA batteries around in her bag.


Playstation 3 - Ratchet & Clank Bundle
The ONLY damn reason I want this thing is because - Ratchet and Clank, my favorite game of all time, isn't being made for ANY other console. It's quite irritating actually.


Air-O-Swiss Humidifier
This would actually benefit everyone in the house!! It seems that ever since I had a child, things effect me differently than they did before. Air is one of those things. Dry air never seemed to bother me a whole lot, but now once winter comes around, every night feels like I'm breathing fire through my nose. I've gone through a million different humidifiers for my room and hers...and I just can't find the right one.

High Def DVD Player
This really wasn't very high on my list until just recently. I was given the entire copy of the DVD series "Planet Earth". This series ran on the Discovery Channel and apparently became an over night sensation. I was given this because "we've watched this whole thing - but just HAVE to have it in high def." I took it, said thanks, and never really thought about it again. Until we sat down and watched it and the very first thing I said was "Wow, this would be awesome in high def". I highly recommend "Planet Earth" for anyone on your Christmas list. Even the non-high def is unbelievable.

A Larger TV for the Spawn
When I moved her into her big girl room, I gave her this little tv for the corner. The hope behind that was when she woke up at 6:00 am on a Saturday, she would lay in bed and watch cartoons - and let me veg a little longer in peace. I've come to learn that although she would LOVE to watch cartoons in her room...she can't see the damn thing. It's microscopic. So....we're back to getting up at 6:00 every day.

A Cord Of Wood and Holder
This is my first house with a real fireplace. And I'm addicted. I'm going to put this family into bankruptcy if I keep buying fake logs from the grocery store.


127 hours at the local spa
Massages, massages, massages. I love them. I miss them. But insanely expensive.

See what I mean? So, let's add it up. Considering than an hour massage runs about $80 bucks, 127 of them would cost me a little under $11,000 (that includes tip). So, we'll leave that out of the equation for now. Everything else - I could probably get my hands on for a about $3200.

OH. My husband needs a new pair of slippers.