Somewhere between my former life and my current life, I dated a few guys. None of them overly serious - most of them in the category of rebound. Spending some time in my life trying to figure out what I wanted, where I wanted to go...and who I was. Most of those short lived romances were doomed from the beginning, and the truth was I probably new it from the get go. But that's an entirely different post.

So, one of those guys was a total loser. And by loser, I desperately need you to hold your index finger and thumb in the shape of an L and slam in into your forehead about 20 times to accentuate my point. In addition to being a loser, he was also a drunk. Capital D, Capital Beer, Capital Bar, Capital Vomit - Drunk. And not the - tells inappropriate stories grabs your ass but apologizes - kind of drunk, but the - takes a leak in your kitchen sink at 10:30 in the morning - kind of drunk. No love lost on that one.

So, I got a friend request from him the other day. And because I can't walk away from a train wreck...I accepted it.

In my weekly incomprehensible conversation with my sister - I told her about my newly rekindled friendship.

It was discussed that there is a possibility that he is still, in fact, drunk - and maybe does not remember that he urinated in my kitchen sink. Or maybe he realized that he had a problem and joined AA, and he's on whatever step is making amends and is working towards his pin.

Somehow we jumped from that, to the strange friend requests that one occasionally gets from Facebook. There is not one person I've talked to that has not gotten at least one request from someone that they believe hated them in high school, or at the very least fooled around with their boyfriend.

At which I replied, that in high school, if you had dated someone for more than 3 weeks you were doing well....And do you remember back then you would have like a "one month anniversary"... and Holy Shit, I wish I could go back and smack the crap out of myself.

But then we decided that there should be a Monogamous Anonymous . And you should totally get a pin for it, just like AA. And I would totally introduce myself with that information..."Hi, I'm Kerrie...I've been monogamous for 2,556 days"...

And this by no means is making fun of anyone that is actually IN AA, this is making fun of jerk wad boyfriends who pee in sinks.

4 comments:

Dana's Brain said...

It is weird. The facebook thing, not the drunk thing. Although the peeing in the sink thing is weird.

KidSister said...

At least he made it to the sink!

HeatherPride said...

Dude, I had a jerk wad boyfriend who peed in the closet one night after getting drunk. I was just lucky that we were sleeping at his place...

Ms Picket To You said...

dude, deep.