The Mini Van Soap Box

I suppose there comes a point in time in one's life, where you should just be happy with what you have. I don't mean like the shit in your house...because I'm never happy with that stuff...but I mean what you HAVE. Maybe your hair is full and luscious, but so is the hair every where else on your body. You have a great rack - but your ass is flat as a board and looks like a 12 year old boys butt. Or, just maybe, you have given birth to the greatest kid in the world and still five years later you are blaming your gut on her.

Yes, the above is me, ya'll. I have strong, healthy hair - but unfortunatly I have it everywhere. I got me some big ol' boobs which my husband is a big fan of - but my back goes directly into my legs - not giving me much to sit on. And the birth of my child (and consumtion of a few beers) has given me that slight "bump", that has stopped me from tucking anything in for about 5 years now.

You might remember that a while back I mentioned I was looking into laser hair removal. If you do, you've been here for a while, because that was well over a year ago. Which in case you didn't know....it shouldn't take that long.

I'm done with all my appointments - and that would be six that I paid for and three that they gave me for free because I have mutant unkillable hair and they feel bad for me. But I'm still not done....But since I couldn't afford this shit in the first place....I have to stop now. Which is, quite honestly, extremly annoying. It basically feels like I've let a total stranger shoot lasers at my pits and cooter for no more than practice for the last year. And let's not even talk about the numbing cream...and the last appointment went a bit weird and it looks like they used light bulbs to burn my armpits......Sigh.

I could have saved all that money from laser work and taken my hairy self to BlogHer....

Only upside to all of this is that I am WAY more comfortable going to the OB now...At least she has a purpose being down there.

Update: I just read this again...and realize that I've made myself sound like a woolly mammoth. I'm not. I don't want to scare anyone from actually meeting me. But if thinking I'm a furry creature makes this strange post funnier than it really is...go with it.