The Mini Van Soap Box

It was probably the summer of '05, and my sister and her tribe had come for a visit. My daughter was probably just about 10 months old - still chunky, babbling, all smiles and chewing on everything in sight. She and I were still currently living in our little bubble of life. Me, paranoid that everything outside the bubble would hurt her. Her, oblivious to everything outside of the bubble. We're hanging at my mom's pool - drinking, laughing and carrying on - passing her around like the trophy she is.

At one point she's sitting in her stroller, chewing on her fist or some such, and "talking" to my sister about the finer points of a Martha Stewart magazine when my sister hands her the magazine...when I simply tell her "please don't give her the magazine...she could get a paper cut...in her eye"

Yes. In Her Eye.

Well, you can only imagine what happened next. For the next four years I've received shit about EYE BALL PAPER CUTS. My entire sisters family has enjoyed tormenting me with steno notebooks and loose leaf paper. "Kerrieeeeee" they'll say from across the room...."Ooooohhh" waving around newspapers and junk mail while sounding like ghosts "Cover Your Eyes!!!"

You know that whole "You could poke your eye out" saying? Well, in our family it's been changed to "you could get a paper cut ON YOUR EYE".

Neurotic? With out a doubt. However, I don't argue that fact, and take the rubbin'. When the jokes roll - I take 'em as they come - because the truth is - for the most part - they are funny and I know I'm over the top. And honestly, how many children have you REALLY heard of losing their eye sight to horrible paper cut accidents? I mean, really, do YOU have an insurance policy covering this horrific freak accident?

How ironic that I'm cruising through Facebook last night and an old friend of mine has an update that he's being "fit for an eye patch because of an PAPER CUT ON HIS EYE BALL"

WELL! Because I am completely incapable of thinking before I act. I clicked...

"Kerrie Likes This"