So, my kid has a thing for vegetables. Yes, I know....Poor me.  I mean it's not like she WON'T eat a cookie...It's just that she would prefer a big bowl of cherry tomatoes or a green pepper with salt and pepper.  Yea, yea...I know....Poor me.

You have any idea how expensive green peppers are though - and how hard it is to find a GOOD pepper in the middle of winter in my area? This is a typical conversation before I run out of the house to pick up a few things at the store:

Me:  Honey, I'm running to the market - Do you need anything?
Him:  Oh, yea - I ran out of shaving cream. And could you pick up some coffee filters.
Me:  Sure.  Sweetie! Mommy is running to the store! Want anything special?
Her:  Yea! Green Peppers and a rutabaga! But only if the green peppers look good. No squishy peppers! If not green, then red. If not red - get yellow.

So, last summer my folks starting growing a garden in their backyard. It was great when we went over to hang out by the pool because anytime she wanted a snack we could essentially just POINT to the other end of the yard and she could yank a tomato off the vine and eat it, and then jump in the pool to wash off.  (just another reason why I hate winter and am counting the days to summer. I have to actually WASH my kid in the winter)

So, with all the picking and the eating and the washing, they were able to get her to try a few different things.  One of those things was a Jalapeno pepper.  Because that's fun y'all.  And honestly - if she's gonna get the shits - it's gonna happen at MY house...So, why not?!?

Well, she loved it.  So now every time I go to the store and have to take her with me, it's all, "Mama get me a HOLLOW PEEEENO. And I usually say no. Why? I have no idea. It just seems weird I guess.  Buying ONE jalapeno so she can have a zesty snack? Not to mention it's not going to fill her up, so 10 minutes later she's just going to ask for some bok choy anyway!

Well, this last weekend I gave in and got her one pepper. She was so excited to get home and eat it, I couldn't help but be excited as well.

We got home and I sliced it open and got the seeds out. I cut a little piece off for her to try - just to make sure it was what she remembered and not too hot.  She plopped it in her mouth like a champ and was all "Hell Yea!".  So, off she went with the rest of her jalapeno.  I threw the knife in sink walked away to the bathroom to blow my nose.

This is where it all went to shit.

About the time I finished blowing my nose - she came running back into the kitchen spitting and screaming "Wrong Pepper Mama! Wrong Pepper Mama!" and this is right about the time I started thinking what the shit is wrong with my nose-holy crap-is there actual FLAME coming out of my nose-i think i just set the bathroom on fire.

Three hours later we can only assume that the peppers at my local grocer were mislabeled and I did not buy a jalapeno, I bough a habanero and essentially tried to kill myself and my child.  We also figured out that I don't know JACK about hot peppers because I've been told BY MANY PEOPLE that it's pretty easy to tell the difference between the two.

My daughter isn't mad.  In fact, after the whole thing was over, she looked at me quite casually and said "So....we shouldn't buy peppers anymore. Just eat them at Grand mommy's."

Good idea Kid.  Let THEM burn your face off.

Update:  I'm not entirely convinced it was a habanero. I've looked at pictures on the internet and they don't look ANYTHING alike. I'm thinking it might have been a Thai Pepper.   It still makes me an idiot...but they look much more a like.


Serial Swooper said...

Oh no! My two year old once stole a french fry off my brother in law's plate when we were out to dinner. The french fry was SOAKED in tabasco. Hell broke loose. We had to leave the restaurant.

He still hasn't forgiven us.

Lisa said...

I could not shove a veggie down my youngest's throat...not that I have ever tried, but HE HATES anything that resembles plant life. I would rather have your problem.

:) Lisa

MommaKiss said...

My lil one likes bell peppers, but the hallow peeno wouldn't ever grace his lips (again). The big'gun? maaaaaybe a baby carrot once in a while. Little turds are going to start clucking from all of the chicken nuggets they eat. Whatever. :p
(you're way lucky your kid eats so many veggies - awesome).

mumma boo said...

For the record, you did not try to kill yourself and your child. Your grocer did, the bastard. You just know those labels were switched on purpose by some clerk playing a prank. I have a hard enough time getting my kids to eat anything resembling a vegetable, that should such an incident like yours occur here, they'd be off veggies for life.

SmartAssMom said...

It's okay. I can barely identify a bell pepper, let alone all the other freakish varieties. I have Irish taste buds, I don't do spicy.

just making my way said...

I think sometimes jalepenos range in heat, so don't beat yourself up. I have a bad habanero story. Sorry if it's a bit TMI - imagine fooling around with your husband (a chef) when he hasn't scrubbed all the habanero oil of his fingers. Ya, not so nice.

msprimadonna67 said...

Oh no! My two youngest kids (now 11 and 13) love to show each other how tough they are by eating the spiciest/hottest foods. Nicholas looks positively smug when he's eating peppers and such, because, well, he knows mommy and the oldest sis are great big wimps about the spicy. As far as I can tell, the oldest kid is the only one with any sense about her!