1/07/2009

Exam Room Humor Stumble Upon Digg It! Add to Delicious Add to Technorati

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Apparently, doctors don't have much of a sense of humor. They also don't watch a lot of t.v.

"Can you describe your headaches?"

"Yea, you know Doyle? No? Ok, how about Cordelia Chase? Not her either? Ok, so see - they got visions from the PTB, that would be the Powers That Be, and it was always a vision of someone in grave danger, and then the Dark Avenger, that's Angel, would go save them! So, that's what it's like. Except without the save the damsel in distress scratch and sniff visions."

(Long Pause)

"Yes, well ok. Can you tell how bad the pain is on a scale from 1 to 10?"

"oh, yea. It's a ten"

Afterward, they totally gave me about 10,000 dollars worth of street drugs and told me I have little worms eating my brain from the inside out. No, they didn't really say that - but they did give me enough drugs to start my own business. So, now I'm having a hard time deciding if I'm going to take the drugs or if I'm going to try to turn them into a lucrative brain swapping business.

While although they didn't tell me I had brain worms, they did inform me - ever so urgently - that I needed to have an MRI AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Because that doesn't freak a patient out AT ALL. Then radiology screwed the pooch and sent me away without an MRI and that totally pissed off my doctors office who in turn basically told me I was going to die without the MRI.

My sister and I discussed it this morning over IM. And even though she spent the better portion of the morning soaking her hands in liquefied shit (you'll have to ask her) she took some time out of her busy day to diagnose me with Lupus. It's never Lupus on House, so it had to happen at some point in time.

5 comments:

KidSister said...

Ever get stabbed in the head? If so, maybe it's this?

http://www.news4jax.com/news/18426019/detail.html

HeatherPride said...

So I really hope it's not Lupus. Or brain worms. Because both of those options suck.

Carolyn...Online said...

I know all about Cordelia & Doyle's headaches. And while it's never Lupus on House it was Lupus on Gross Anatomy with Matthew Modine.

Lollie said...

Don't even mention House - you don't want to end up a medical mystery for the better part of an hour, bleeding from every oriface only to be diagnosed with something unpronouncable. Isn't that pretty much how all of those episodes go? Feel better pal, migraines suck.

Ms Picket To You said...

DUDE! Suckity suck suck.