The Mini Van Soap Box

I haven't really had anything interesting to write lately because I've been too busy hacking a lung up through my throat. It's fun. You should try it. Really. I've been doing it for about six days now. After a while it starts to give you a nice red, sandpaper glow all over - and a thick hoarseness to your voice that men can't resist.

It all started with what I just assumed were allergies. You would think at my age I would KNOW if I have allergies or not, but damned if every spring I have to actually THINK about it. "Is this a cold, or do I have allergies?" So, I spend the better part of a week taking allergy medication, only to have the allergy medication not do anything at all - all the while I'm telling people "oh no, don't worry, this is allergies" when they start to back away from me. So, while I'm taking a shit load of allergy medication for no reason what so ever, and also infecting every living soul I come into contact with, I'm still genuinely confused as to WHY the allergy medication isn't working.

Because I'm a complete a total freakin' moron.

So, I nurse a general every day cold with allergy meds, give said cold to every one I know, all the while run myself into the ground because I keep thinking "there's no reason why you can't paint the guest room and clean out the garage....it's just allergies...suck it up you pussy". So, I don't take care of the cold...and inevitably get bronchitis.

So, I finally went to the doctor the other day when my ass brain caught up that I was actually sick, and the doctor wouldn't give me drugs "because it's just viral" and sent me on my way. But with the parting words of "If it's the flu, it's too late to test for it...."

What the hell does THAT mean? Like it's too late....For ME?

By the way....Being this sick with the swine flu running around the country is awesome....Makes people really want to hang out with you.