I have to take something I've said back. While although I have no intention of ever writing a book - a brilliant idea came to me while vacationing this last week that is going to force me to go back on that.

We vacation at Disney probably every year....Even before we had a kid.  We are big Disney fans. Myself more than my husband, but over the years he's become more and more of a "believer". In fact, we were even married there...as was my sister before me.

Sidenote: If you get the chance, and aren't married - I HIGHLY recommend it. I didn't lift. A. FINGER. I planned my entire wedding over email. Hell, if you've got the money - you can close the freakin' Magic Kingdom down and have fireworks just for you.

So, we are what you would call Disney experts.  There have been people in the past that have asked "I'm going to Disney in a few weeks, got any advice?" My response is always "Are you sure you want me to answer that?" Because...I have advice. Strange thing it - no one ever takes it. They always end up coming home with war stories, bunions, blisters, pissed off kids and parents that are seriously considering divorce. 

Two biggest pieces of advice I can give you.

1.  Chill the hell out.
2.  Buy some good shoes.

This is where my brilliant idea comes in.  I can not TELL YOU how many 3 inch heels my mom and I saw this last week.  She and I even have this look that we give each other that means, "Holy Shit Mom, look at that crazy woman in the leopard print heels".  So, I've decided I'm going to start taking my GOOD camera with me from now on - and I'm going to take pictures of peoples feet.

It'll be a coffee table book.  "The Feet of Disney" .... "Shoes of Epcot" .... "These Fools Are Going To Regret This Tomorrow" ... I don't know, I haven't worked the title out yet.  But I gaurantee people will buy it.  Especially if THEIR feet are so colorfully illustrated.

I'm the girl in layers....and ugly shoes.  Jeans, T-Shirt, Sweatshirt and a good ol' pair of walking shoes.  Next time you're there - Say Hi!  I also wear a butt-pack.  I'm SUPER hot.  You'll find us in Epcot, doing the beer crawl through the countries and getting henna art in Morocco.

P.S. My brush with fame.  That's totally the back of a Jonas Brother. I have no idea which one. I didn't realize that there were three until a drove of screaming 12 year olds were pissed that he wasn't there.

P.P.S.  I just asked my husband about the number of Jonas's...Jonasss....Joni....Hell, how many of those kids there are.  He said he heard one left, so there are only two. So, maybe that's why there are only two. We had a five minute discussion about if the actually LEFT, or is just doing a solo album.  We then realized that neither of us give a crap.

P.P.P.S.  It's upsetting that I'm going to get traffic here now because of the word Jonas.


Anonymous said...

You forgot to tell them about the bakeries!

Mad Woman said...

That's Kevin Jonas. I'd know him anywhere. Yum. And yes, I'm pathetic.

I'm a layered, bad shoes gal at Disney too. And I loooove to laugh at the idiots. My stepdad and his new girlfriend took us to Disney a few years back and she pranced around for the first two hours in high heels before begging to be taken back to the hotel so that she could get bandaids and her ugly shoes. Hahahahahaha! I loved it.

Know what else I like about Disney? I ate myself stupid for the entire week that we were there and still LOST 10 pounds from all the walking. Oh yeah!

Aunt Juicebox said...

Oh my gosh, last year we went to Disney for Thanksgiving, and by the second day, I had huge blisters on the SIDES, sides I say, of my heels. It was excrutiating on day 3, but I got through it. I even took pictures of my feet. And yes, I was wearing a good pair of walking shoes. I can't explain it. I think it was just the serious walking.

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Hi Minivan Soapbox,

Glad to hear you were inspired to write. I can see you now on Oprah's Book Review (or whatever it's called) discussing Disney Feet or Epcot by the Feet.

I'll be watching and thinking, I met her when what mattered more than Disney feet was socks and Diet Coke with EXTRA ICE.

I try to avoid amusement parks now. The ocean, music, sandy beaches and single malt scotch are the simple pleasures in life I enjoy now.


kys said...

Jonas traffic is better than no traffic!

We go to Disney a lot, too. (My mom lives in Florida so we mainly make day trips to Magic Kingdom.) It baffles me to see the way people dress.

You should write an advice book about Disney vacations. I'll bet it would sell.

mumma boo said...

Not only are you packing my toiletries for me, you are booking my trip and giving me every piece of advice about Disney you've ever thought of. Start writing. I'll be contacting you when a) the boy is finally potty-trained, and b) he can carry his own stuff on the plane. Look for me in about three years. :)

MommaKiss said...

Thanks for stopping by - and *ahem* I guess there is a skinny pill, huh? But yes - then my mission would be to invent a non-sharting version!

Brakes and Gas said...

Question, Ye'Ole'Disney Guru: How young is too young for a gal's first trip to the magic kingdom. I really want to go next year but Weez will only be a year in March. Too soon?
Just to clarify; I will be going for me, not her... or her daddy. I am bringing him merely to hold my purse and stand in line.

The Queen said...

I would buy that book... that would be great...

Skye said...

I will totally buy that book, because I love to laugh at women in high heels.