10/22/2008

I Think I Need A Pimp Stumble Upon Digg It! Add to Delicious Add to Technorati

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During a routine "How was your day?" conversation with my husband, he told me that there was a possibility of him picking up some over time in the next few months - and wanted to know if I was interested. It's a loaded question really. On one hand we could really use the extra money to get our financial train back on track, but on the other, I have to accept single parenting while he's gone. You see, most of his "overtime" will involve him being in an entirely different city.

However, paying for things like bread and heat are important. So, we agreed. Go forth and work yourself to the bone.

I, on the other hand, do not have the possibility of working over time. I don't know if ya'll have heard or not, but the real estate market sucks ass right now. I suppose it works out well - if he's working overtime and I'm working overtime....The private school we have her in would have to work overtime - and I've heard that they don't take kindly to leaving your children there overnight.

But I still want to be able to do my part. If there is some extra money to be made - I want to help.

I asked him if I should sell my body on the street corner, but he wasn't too keen on that. I don't think I would make much anyway. I hear that stretch marks and c-section scars aren't sexy. I would also say things like "Could you please hurry it up? Lost is about to start!" I don't see myself getting referred to anyone else.

So, what does any self respecting out of work hooker do? I hock my shit on ebay.

Problem is, I think there is a part of me that thinks I'm going to pay off our house with the oodles and boodles of money that I'm going to make. Nothing is safe in our house. If it isn't nailed down to the counter it's ebay fair game. I've even taken things from OTHER people to sell on Ebay. So, essentially not even our neighbors garbage is safe.

"Oh, honey, that's a nice sweater"
"Babe, can I wear it ONCE before you sell it to someone else for $2.99?"


Every day I find something new that I could sell, and put it on our dining room table. Which, by the way, is not a dining room table anymore - it's a junk warehouse.

It's going to take me years to sell all this crap.

Chances are, by the end, I'll have an empty house, a very good relationship with Upga the Postal Worker, and about $53 dollars.

5 comments:

Ms Picket To You said...

But you will NOT have an STD from some john.

Think on the bright side!

miko564 said...

What about "services" sold on Ebay?

Do they do that?

HeatherPride said...

Hey! My husband has a shirt I'll TOTALLY let you sell on ebay! You can keep the money if you help me lose the shirt!

But be careful - I hear selling stuff on ebay is addictive! My mother-in-law starting doing it a couple of years ago and now there are only tiny paths around the huge piles of junk all over the house!

-k said...

@ms picket: There is a silver lining to everything, I suppose. I'm broke - but I've got a healthy coochie.

@miko: I think I read somewhere in the rules of ebay'ing that you aren't allowed to sell yourself...I have seen a few people try to sell their souls though.

@heatherpride: Hey! That's a great deal - I can make a few bucks and you don't have to see "the shirt" anymore.

Rhea said...

LOL I love that you will sell anything that isn't nailed down. You crack me up. I feel like that some days. haha