The Mini Van Soap Box

I would like to begin by saying that I realize that food/dinner time problems with children are very common. I would also like to make sure you understand that I am not a complete idiot, and that while I realize that THIS particular problem is probably nowhere near how bad you had it - I'm still going to bitch about it.

I blame the internet actually. I spent so much time before she was born, scouring every resource I could about babies, caring for babies, caring for ill babies, caring for babies born without heads and or feet - that by the time my due date came around - I was consumed with the notion that she would be born without a head and/or feet. Color me surprised when she emerged with all extremities, and what the nurse said what a perfect 10.

At that point I passed out cold - I imagine because I didn't know what to do with a child that actually had a head. Well, it was either that - or the fact that Mr. Epidural cranked up my dosage. I loved that man...sigh.

Anyway, so I had this baby. And I was a freak. Wash your hands before you touch her. Don't ever walk away from her. Yes, I realize she's only 3 days old and has not one functioning limb, however, MY child will be an overachiever and won't you look like an asshole if today is the day she decides to get up and walk. No, she can't stay overnight with her Grandparents, it's been like 20 some years since they've had children, what if they give her strawberries, or peanut butter or a Lobster Tail? What would we do then?

So, you can see where introducing solid food into her diet was not something I was really eager to do. Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not still feeding her baby food.

By the time her pediatrician sat me down and explained to me that she would not choke on mushed green beans, and to get over myself, we were past the point of no return. Put solid food in front of her - and stop the baby food cold turkey.

It only took about a day - but I was convinced that she would STARVE in that time frame, and I think I cried straight for two days.

So, because of the whole I'm a horrible mother and I withheld food from her for a whole day until she ate it - We've typically allowed her to have an opinion about what she wants for dinner.

Most of the time this involves Shell Pasta, with a vegetable and a fruit.

See, really not all that bad right? She actually chooses to eat a vegetable every day. Fruit is the snack of choice in our house - she'll eat beets right out of a can.

So, what am I bitching about, right?

Well, because I've allowed her to have an opinion about food - She thinks her's is the only one that counts. She'll actually stay mad at me for days if I don't have shell pasta in the house.

All of the above actually has nothing to do with why I sat down to write. I just wanted to tell you that she's got these popsicles that she is allowed to have after dinner. They are wrapped in white shiny paper, and for the most part, you can't see through the paper to see what color the popsicle is.

So, every day after dinner she'll ask to have a popsicle and always wants to know if I can pick the same color she had the night before. I've managed to do it, like, four nights in a row now.

Last night she leaned over to my husband and whispered in his ear "Mama can do magic!"