Well, maybe not the World, but it was certainly heard around the entire 2nd, 3rd and probably 4th floors of my daughters pediatricians office.

Yesterday was the dreaded "Well Health Check Up" that every kid has to have on/around their birthdays. And as every parent knows, there isn't one between birth and grade school that does not involve shots.

Now, while I am a big fan of making sure that my daughter does not get a horrible disease, like Polio or something...I still wish there was a better way of getting that juice into her system. Don't you think some researcher somewhere could come up with a fruit smoothie cocktail or something that would be easier to give to kids? Well, sure, I realize that you are spending your time trying to cure Cancer and shit, but I swear that I just heard the results of a research study that said "women with large breasts have a slightly less chance of getting breast cancer if they drink three cups of coffee a day..."Seriously?! I think these folks could work on my cocktail idea.

So, we're at the doctors office, and I had been warned before this visit that the 4 year check up "was a doozy". Honestly, I wish they hadn't told me that. I stressed about it for a week leading up the visit.

So, we see the nurse (her vision is great), we see the doctor (she can talk and jump on one foot, all good things I'm assured) and then we wait for the next nurse.

We wait.

We wait.

She's sitting in her drawers, and I'm trying to entertain her with the crap ass books that are there. But she knows what's coming and I know what's coming - so we're both just kind of humoring each other.

Bad Nurse comes with 7 shots! Apparently, last year they "forgot" to give her one she needed, so they have to tag it onto this one. Make matters worse, I wanted to get her flu shot while we were there...So, we need to stick this kid 8 times.

Now she's got eight little puncture wounds and every inch of her body is covered in red, yellow and blue band aids - and she's pissed as hell - at me, of course. Cause, seriously, who could blame her? I'm the one that drove her to this torture chamber.

Trying to make a kid smile after 8 shots with a fuckin' sticker or a lollipop is ridiculous.

So, if she asks me to buy her a Pony, I'm totally going to do it.


miko564 said...

I'm not allowed to attend the doctors’ visits that include shots.

You see, I was there for the Monkey's first round of shots. Apparently, the look on my face, as the nurse gave her these shots, frightened both the nurse and the Swede.

To be honest, I was contemplating throwing the nurse out of the 4th floor window at the time. I KNOW she was just helping, but she was hurting my little girl...and that isn't allowed.

So I can't go anymore...Mommy won't let me.

Carolyn...Online said...

I hate the shots visits. I have to hold her down and she kicks me and ugh. I would like to donate to your fruit smoothie delivery system.

MadWoman said...

Screw the pony...buy her that dream car and a mansion NOW. Just wait til she finds out about PAPs.

DCD said...

Ugh. Shots are the worst!

You are really onto something with the fruit smoothie idea. They'd have to put some real effort into it though. I had them "flavor" my 2yr old's last batch of antibiotics - worked for one dose, then she was onto me.

Ms Picket To You said...

sneak attack flu shots today. the GFYO is acting like he's taken a bullet. i must remind him of the oh, what was it, FORCEPS that enabled him to come into the world?