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I mentioned in an earlier post that I don't like to shop. It's really not entirely true - some things I don't mind shopping for....some things I HATE shopping for.

Like clothes. Specifically jeans. I have been cursed with a round top o'body - and a back that goes directly into my legs. (backleg?) In short - a little rounder than I used to be - but have absolutely no arse to speak of.

I will wear a pair of jeans until the last stitch has unraveled, the levi or gap patch in the back resembles a see through iron on, and my husband is politely asking not to be seen with me in public. At which point I grab a pair of scissors and convert them to "work shorts".

Unfortunately, today was the day where I had to go and finally buy a new pair. It was an eye opening experience on many levels.

For example:

Did you know that this time of year, women who are slightly larger on the top region of their bodies - apparently can only wear holiday sweaters. Well, holiday sweaters and very shiny metallic material. It's true. I didn't realize it either until I got to the store and wanted to buy some light knit sweaters for work...only to realize that it's against the rules. I suppose the makers of the shirts/top are thinking that those of us that are a bit rounder will want to camouflage our size with tidings of good cheer. Maybe if we remind people that it's Christmas time - they won't think "Wow, that women has got some knockers!"

I'm not entirely sure what metallic shiny fabric is supposed to do for me. Maybe it's along the line of shiny Christmas ornaments....Which reminds me - I need to start pulling mine out.

Ha - see - it works.

Second thing that I've learned today. Ugly jeans are '
stylish'. Not just ugly - but ugly and dirty looking. Hell, if I knew THAT I would just keep wearing my nasty looking ones.

Come to think of it - maybe I could make a buck or two. I'll take my old jeans and use them to hold grass clippings for a couple of days. Then when they have a nice greenish glow to them, I'll roll around in the mud for a while...let that dry and then for good measure I'll run them over with the van a couple of times.

...and then I'll sell them on Ebay for about $80 bucks.

I can call them organic jeans.


Sand said...

Ah! As you don't do lots of in store shopping you are unaware of the rules of clothes shopping -- when you are shopping for casual clothes, there are mostly dressy clothes in the store but if you are looking for a dressy outfit, there are only casual separates! Once the holiday stuff is out, plain tops and jeans are definitely not out. Sort of like trying to buy a new hose or other seasonal stuff at Home Depot after the holiday decor is displayed. Well - there isn't room in the store for everything now is there :)