As promised, the conclusion to what happens when you blame the Easter Bunny for being a bad mom.
So, I managed to get out of the whole Easter thing scott free. We didn't paint eggs or hide them, or spend hours finding them. I wasn't left with 20 neon pink and yellow eggs to make 4 pounds of egg salad with. Little tin foil wrappers haven't been left all over my house for the last week. But truthfully, I felt pretty guilty. I would have enjoyed taking pictures of her finding the eggs - and having a stash of Easter chocolate in the house benefits me as well.
So, Sunday night after the whole debacle was over the phone rang. My folks had called to give me a general hard time for being a jack ass and to let me know how truly horrible it is to blame the Easter Bunny for my mistakes - when a thought came to him.
"I know how you can make it up to her!" he said
"I don't need to make it up to her...She's over it."
"No, no...I know how you can make it up to her. I'm sure you've scarred her....for life. And since it's Easter...We think you should get her a Bunny. A lop ear rabbit...I know a guy who breeds them!"
I made very clear to him that there was no way in bloody hell I was going to buy this kid a bunny - because my husband and I have a no pet policy in this house - not to mention I have very severe allergies.
"No, no. Bunnies have a totally different dander than cats. You'll be fine."
"Look Mensa Bunny Boy....I don't care if this bunny shoots Pez out his ass. Do. Not. Buy. this kid a bunny"
The conversation went on far longer than it should have - and because clearly I'm easily swayed from an original position - I started having an actual conversation about having a bunny in the house!
I eventually told him I had to hang up on him.
"Why do you have to hang up on me?" he asked
"Because I'm honestly listening to you....So, I have to hang up on you now. Clearly I can't have a thought of my own and you are making my mind up for me. So, I'm hanging up now. Goodbye"
So I hung up. And then did the SECOND worst thing I could do.
(the first thing would have been TELLING the child about the bunny)
The second is to do a google image search of Lop Ear Bunny.......
Damn.
Moral of the story. Grandparents suck. Truly. Think what you will about the all the love they have for their grandchildren - but the truth of it is - they just want to stick it to their own kids. It's payback for all the shit we pulled. And I'm quite sure that they are laughing their asses off right now - knowing full well - that sometime soon - my house is going to be filled with rabbit turds.
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5 comments:
Oh lord. You're right, you are totally screwed. You are also right about them getting us back - it's so obvious!
LOL You're so right about parents. Rabbits are actually decent pets to own. They don't bark or make other noise, they don't scratch up your furniture, and you CAN litter box train them! They will also eat all the veggies you don't like. =)
I have a gigantic bunny named Ginger (she was adopted, I think it's a stupid name) and she is an excellent pet. She does smell a bit, but she's awesome. Seriously.
(we haven't done our egg hunt at all. The eggs are in my closet, waiting to be discovered. Oh, they're plastic eggs. Real would be GROSS).
Hmmmm, I had two rabbits when I was a kid and I didn't get much enjoyment out of them. They scratch worse than cats and they shed about as bad too. I dunno, just be sure you really are ready for one!
HEY !! let's be careful about casting bad vibs on ALL grandparents. At least one of that child's grandparents did NOT suggest any kind of pet. I thought that selling a two-fer-one was a great sales job.
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