9/23/2009

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I've been told that I should not make a quick decision about this therapy thing.  However, after one session, I can tell you without a doubt....That I'm not so sure it's for me.  Or rather THIS therapist isn't for me.

First of all, the waiting rooms are weird.  I mean it was kind of what I expected...weird spa music piped into the room and these taupe walls.  I hear taupe is supposed to be soothing.  I suppose it is. But I kind of felt like I was waiting to be called for a massage. Which I suppose I would have preferred to tell you the truth.  But everyone is trying really hard to NOT look at each other, and figure out what THEIR issue is.  But it's not like you're going to slide up to someone and be all "So, what's your malfunction?"  So, you sit.  In the REALLY smooshy couch.  Which I looked like a total asshole trying to get back out of later.

2nd.  This therapist is very attractive.  Like if I was lesbian I might be interested attractive.  But she would be SO out of my league.  This is where the alpha-female thing comes into play.  Yes, neurotic. I'll admit it.  But I don't know if I can warm up, and eventually spill my guts out, to a woman THIS good looking.  She makes me feel like a shlub.  A fat, neurotic crazy shlub.  And there's really no worse shlub than that.

3rd.  There was A LOT of silence.  I mean, I suppose I was supposed to be talking during those moments, but I kind of felt like my sentence was finished.  I had answered her question pretty well. Really no reason to keep talking. So we stared at each other. Uncomfortable.  I told my sister that we should start taking like they do on telegrams.  ".....so that's when the panic attacks started. STOP."

4th.  Her office smells weird.

5th.  I'm pretty sure at one point in time, she gave me PARENTING advice.  Hell, I can get that for free.  On the street.

6th.  Apparently they are not allowed to have a sense of humor.  News flash: I make inappropriate jokes when I'm uncomfortable.  Therapy = Uncomfortable.  It's like when I go to the OB and ask her if she can hear the ocean.  But apparently this woman isn't allowed to laugh.  Kind of hurts the mojo if you ask me.


Ok, ok.  I know, I know.  No, I'm not quitting.  Yes, I will continue to do this, and I know I'm just being whiny about the whole thing.  I just need to decide if I will pursue someone else (like an older frumpy man with mis-matched socks).

But her office DID smell funny.

11 comments:

SmartAssMom said...

The walls of the waiting room at my former therapist's office were totally thin and I could hear pretty much everything that was being said behind closed doors. And I was totally thinking that I should get a job there as a receptionist or something because spending all day listening to people's issues? fascinating.

If you're uncomfortable at all with your therapist, it's probably not a good match and you can just try someone else. Preferably someone with thin walls in their waiting room so you have some pre-therapy entertainment.

Rebecca said...

I always thought that a good massage was the next best thing to therapy. But I've never gone to therapy so I'm the last person you should ask cause if anyone in my zip code needs therapy, it's my cat...I mean me.

She's probably a terrible person and that's why you get funny feelings around her. Find someone new after 5 (or whatever your goal is) visits.

Remember that internet therapy is always free. Share with the internet.....My favorite therapy site is http://www.hatebook.com .

Aunt Becky said...

I wasn't overly wowed by therapy the one time I went. I stopped when I realized my insurance coverage was like peanuts. No, like literal peanuts. So, yeah. But I felt SO self conscious and when I'm that way, I joke too. Not probably a good way to uh, you know, therapize?

mumma boo said...

It takes awhile to find the right therapist. I can tell you that I had more luck with the male therapist I saw for my anxiety issues than I did with the female therapists I first tried. The important thing is you're taking steps to address the anxiety. It's all encompassing and it sucks. Good luck!

kyslp said...

I have been to 3 therapy sessions in my life. The first 2 were with a woman that I clicked with but I had to stop due to insurance issues. She sent me to therapist
#2. He was quiet, judgemental, and his office was next to the psyh ward of the hospital. I never went back. I have heard from several people that if you have the right therapist, it can be a great experience. If not, it's a waste of time. (Kind of like husbands, IMHO.)

We are thinking of the Outer Banks, too. It will be the sisters-in-law, nieces, nephews, etc. I'm insisting on a large house. I'm sure that many cocktails will be consumed by everyone. It will be necessary!

Skye said...

What's the harm in trying someone else? There's a ton of them out there.

Trooper Thorn said...

I always say smell is the truest sign if something is infected. I always say that.

just making my way said...

I think it's important to stick with it - BUT that it's also important to be with someone you connect with. If smelly office chick isn't the one for you, definitely find someone else!

Peter said...

Phone book is full of therapists. Try another, Maybe try several. For that matter buy a bus ticket to a twon two hundred miles away and just sit there and tell it all to a stranger. then tell it to a different stranger on the way back.

I swear, most of the benefit to therapy is hearing yourself talk it out.

Go volunteer someplace where you sit and listen to other people's problems and try to advise them. Surprise, what you say to help them is probably exactly what you need to hear to help you. After all, we are our own best therapist sometimes.

And is all you need is something to break up the routine of those anxious thoughts circling around and around in our head? Therapist? Maybe you just need a friend to sit and talk to. Who knows? I don't. I do know, just from reading this that you aren't totally bonkers. So, find someone, with a piece of paper on the wall or not, that you can TALK to.

Secret code word for verification: verybot. I dunno what verybot means but it sounds like it belongs in a talk about therapy. Doc, I need to discuss this bad case of verybot I have...

MommaKiss said...

I think it's v. important to get someone you want to talk to. That you're comfy with.

The spa like zone? That is NOT what my dud was like! I'm jealous of that.

Anonymous said...

Hey! I love your blog! This was a very funny post but I wanted to say something serious: You have inspired me to go get help with my anxiety. I have been this way for years but I was ashamed to even breathe it into life by saying it out loud - let alone getting help for it. So, thank you a million times - you made a difference in my life. I went to the doc today and it is going to get better :)