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Enough about the inner workings of my brain.....


I dropped my daughter off earlier this week for school, and the plan for that day was a field trip to the local farm.  Hugs and kisses goodbye - and before I left I asked her ...

"Ok, now remember, you've got a field trip today.  What's the NUMBER 1 rule?"
"Stay with the teacher!!"
"That's right baby. Good job.  Always stay with the group. Don't wander off."
"And don't give candy to strangers!"

For the better part of 9 years, the living room is mine on Thursday nights.  I've never missed a season of Survivor, and there's usually always something right after it that I watch as well.  This year, the Thursday line up is murder and I've got almost every DVR in the house set to MY specifications.  My husband, loving me as he does, left me alone and went upstairs to watch tv in the bedroom and left me to scream at the tv in private. He came back down about 30 minutes later.

"I'm going to bed"
"Honey, it's like 8:45...You okay?"
"Um, yea. But I can't watch ANYTHING ANYWHERE because every Tivo is recording your crap"
"You could sit with me and watch Survivor..."
"I would rather sit in the dark and wait until I'm tired...."


I was tossing and turning last night and hanging out with my brain for a while - when the MOST BRILLIANT IDEA came to me.  We should have GPS for kids! Like the ones we have for dogs...But, you know, for kids.  I worked the whole thing out in my head.  Not only is it a brilliant idea, and going to make me FEEL better...but I'm going to be a freakin' MILLIONAIRE. And as a bajillionaire I can afford a troop of therapists!  So, I googled it this morning.  Shit already exists.  This is what happens when you aren't allowed to watch the news.  What else has been invented that I haven't heard of?  Are you people jet packing to work and not telling me?


Spiders are attacking our house.  They are everywhere.  I'm trying to give my daughter a healthy outlook on bugs....But I'm finding it difficult when every morning I have to swing my purse in front of me to make sure I'm not walking through a human sized web. My husband went out to kill some the other day and I asked him if he killed the one with the 'yellow back'.  Apparently he didn't examine each one before murdering them.  I've asked him to take notes next time.  I would like confirmation that THAT one is dead.  He's got his eyes on me.


Carolyn...Online said...

I love that he'd rather sit in the dark and wait to get tired. That's perfect. And it's how I feel every night as the third episode of Monster Quest starts up.

just making my way said...

Did you watch CSI? Did you? Huh? Cause I did. First time I've seen a premier anything in years!

Are you telling me I can get a chip implanted in my kid to track them down? I love that idea.

I like Monster Quest. Except for the fact that they never actually find any monsters.

minivan soapbox said...

Carolyn...He REALLY hates Survivor. With a passion. It surprises me how much he hates it.

@Just...No, I'm afraid that CSI didn't make the cut this year. Thursday is just a little TOO full. I 'accidentally' got hooked on Supernatural over the summer...So, they took over the CSI slot.

And apparently you can't actually get your kid implanted like a dog...something about still tracking their movements when they are 25...or some such! But there are some really great belt/wristband GPS units out there for kids.

Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahahaha! I want to take a vacation and live in your brain awhile. WAY more interesting than mine.

kyslp said...

Your husband sounds like me when Hubs is watching one football game and dvr'ing another.

I've got the spider thing going on, too. I just ignore it and pretend like I'm using natural materials to decorate for Halloween.

Nel said...

Baaahahaha!!! "Don't give candy to strangers." That is too much@

Brakes and Gas said...

What! GPS trackers for kids already exist? Well, that was a wasted conversation with hubby at 1:00 in the morning two days ago. Do you thing all moms lay awake at night and contemplate how they can track their children?

Belle said...

Oh geez, are you my best friend in disguise? One of my best friend's had to write down all of her Thursday night shows and then decide which would make the Tivo cut, and which she would be able to watch online and thus not have to take up prime recording space. I told her I think she has A Problem. :)

kyslp said...

There is a blog award for you on Stir-Fry.

MommaKiss said...

I just heard that some of those 'dog gps' things are fake. Like false security. So perfect yours before you invent it, yah?

We love CSI - but I'm 2 behind from LAST season, so dvr is holding the premier hostage. And even tho survivor has kind of jumped the shark, I still love it.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I stopped watching Survivor a couple seasons ago. I realized that I had stopped liking it, and was only watching because I thought Jeff was hot. I think I'm just burnt out on reality shows now. I can't even watch the entire season of Hell's Kitchen, and Gordon Ramsay is way hotter than Jeff Probst. LOL

mumma boo said...

Funny how the #1 rule changes as the kids get older. First it's "stay with the teacher", then as they hit the teenage years, it's "Don't get pregnant" or "Don't get anyone pregnant".

I think I much prefer the "stay with the teacher" stage.

I had to reset all the DVR programming the other night. Hubby's damn REPEATS were over-riding the NEW stuff. Thank goodness for Hulu!