5/14/2008

Feline Stand Off Stumble Upon Digg It! Add to Delicious Add to Technorati

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We have a neighborhood cat. I'm not entirely sure who the cat actually belongs to - or where he comes from - or even if, in fact, he is a he. Maybe he's a she. Regardless, there is a black and white neighborhood cat. I don't feed him or anything - but he does make his way into my yard from time to time. Clearly, as I've stated before, it's very easy for small animals to make their way into my backyard. I certainly don't condone this behavior, mainly because I don't want cat shit in my backyard - so I'll shoo him out every so often. If he was providing some service while being in my backyard - I would probably let him stay. Maybe if he was eating the rabbits, or warding off the groundhog - but no, the only thing he does is roll in the grass and look through my windows.

Little Peeping Tom Cat.

Anyway, he was in my driveway this morning. Just sitting. Staring at me. Not moving. Even when I backed the car up a little. Even when I leaned out of the window and "psssssttt.....MOVE!". Nope. Ain't moving. Like one of those stupid 'non-blinking' contests. Except in this game, he's a cat....and I have a minivan.

No, I didn't run him over. But I was tempted. Because here's the thing.

I hate cats.

It's a very complex emotion. Probably dating back to my mother's cat who's sole joy in life was to make my sister and I bleed. I'll tell you about her another time - other than to say that my mother says she was a pure Siamese - but I'll put money that there was some Puma or Cougar in her family tree.

So, a childhood fear of being eaten by my own cat, and the fact that I am deathly allergic to them, all feed into my hatred of all things cat.

In my early twenties, I was living alone and had decided I wanted a pet. It would have been unfair of me to have gotten a dog - I just didn't have the space or the time for that large of a responsibility. As cats are generally pretty self sufficient - it was by far the best option. However, given the reasons above - I couldn't deal with the cat hair. Eureka! A hairless cat was the way to go.

Until I researched them and realized that THIS is what they look like.









That thing would scare the shit out of me. It looks like Gollum from Lord of the Rings.

"Wake Up My Precious....Prrreeccciiious....Kitty Needs Fish Carcass"

3 comments:

Becs said...

I know exactly what you are going through! I probably would have run over the cat. Or at least released my dog to get it away from me. I absolutely hate cats. We had a family cat when I was in my pre-walking age. Even at that age, I beat the crap of out the cat. Now I am really allergic and want them to keep away from me. Unfortunately, I am pretty sure they have this wierd 6th sense that can tell I hate them and that makes them love me. Ick.

C-Rah said...

I'm a cat hater myself. There's this stupid neighborhood cat that comes and poops on our front walk every.friggin.week. And stalks our dog when we take him on a walk. Yeah. Talk about wanting to punt a feline over your fence. I totally feel your pain.

Penny said...

Gollum is cuter, my precious.

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