There was a time when I was younger, that money was tight. This isn't by any means the point of this post, but serves simply as background to the information that I'm going to share.
I was far too busy/lazy when I was 17 to....you know, get a job and help out at all. So...I did what any normal 17 year old would do and helped where I could.
I stole things.
Now, now, now....Before you close the window because you think I have no morals and am a horrible person - let me explain.
I took things that were already available to me. I never actually TOOK something from a store or from some Mom & Pop shop trying to make a buck with their mini-mart. It was simply, if I was at dinner with a friend and there were sugar packets on the table...I would take some. If I was using a public restroom - I would stuff my purse with a few extra twirls of my wrist. If a friend of mine was having a party at a hotel - I would take all the shampoo and soap.
Personally, I don't think this is stealing. I think this is taking something that TECHNICALLY I already paid for. Who's to say that I don't need 12 sugars in my tea? Maybe I DO wash my hands 37 times a day. And maybe, just maybe, I pooped 12 times in that Target bathroom to warrant the roll of toilet paper in my purse?
Interestingly enough.....In my senior year of high school I got the opportunity to go on a choir competition trip to Disney World. On the first day of practice, all us girls are leaving our hotel, where there just happens to be a housekeeping cart. Without even THINKING, I said...."Ohhhh, toilet paper!" I grabbed two rolls.
Anyway, regardless of my actions - right or wrong - it happened.
So, here's the funny part. There are currently 27 packets of sweet & low at the bottom of my purse.
Am I still pocketing packets of sweetener and not even realizing?
So, this is my prediction.....
Upon my death - my daughter is going to find 27 shoe boxes full of sweet 'n low in my closet.
That will by my legacy. The crazy lady that steals shit from Denny's.
Time to 'fess up. What have you taken?
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22 comments:
Coasters from Outback. Hundreds of them. Oh, and those cool hard back books from Marriott Hotels that tell you all about the city you're in. We have one from every city we've ever traveled to. I'm pretty sure we aren't supposed to take those.
And then, of course, ANYTHING from a Disney World hotel bathroom that we can get away with. We have a "Mickey Bathroom" in our house that always needs to be re-stocked!!
Too funny. I immediately thought of that Friends episode where Ros finds all the Sweet n Low packets in the shoe boxes in his grandma's closet. :)
I take coasters from restaurants (like the commenter above) and condiment packets, like ketchup and mustard and stuff. They come in handy when I pack lunches for the family. :)
Being the goober that I am, I do not actually take functional items... More like souvenirs... for example, when I was in college, the cafeteria had a nautical theme (being in Newport News, VA) - long story short, I now have a fake plastic lobster that fills the role in my office as "mascot" and has been named Larry by several co-workers. It has since participated in several luaus and had each of its legs lightly chewed on by a pug named Lilly. It has also magically made it's way into the water jug at work and been photo copied and scanned more times than it has chewed legs. The Larry saga continues...
You have me wondering whether anyone actually buys Sweet & Low ... ever!
Soap and shampoo from hotels, salt and pepper shakers from my fave restaurant when I was 17, and my kids have been known to stash things in their strollers when they were babies too.
Perfume samples. I like to go to the big box department stores and snag at least one of each yummy smell... and even some of the not so yummy ones. At least I always smell good :)
Hey, my Grandma does the same thing! She says it's because she lived through the depression...
Napkins. I take them by the handfuls at fast food restaurants. And yes I truly DO use them later, but I can't take just one or two that I might save, I take like 20 or 30 of them, and then hoard them. I also take them from other people who have a bag of fast food. I snatch them up before they get put in the trash.
Great post! I've got to say, I love me some wet-naps. Especially the ones from Buffalo Wild Wings. Whenever we stop to scarf some wings and beer, we end up leaving with my wife's purse stuffed full of wet-naps. I almost never use them at home, but for some reason I have to have them.
I hoard napkins and stuff them in my car. Hubby recently opened up the compartment I keep them in and just stared at me like, Um, are you okay?
I have a compulsive need to take ketchup packets when we go to a fast food place. I have a gallon zipper bag in my desk filled with ketchup packets, oh and T@co B3ll Fire sauce, they never give you enough, so I grab it while I can.
I'm the lame jerk who always has to grab extra mints at the restaurant. Sometimes the hostess gives me a dirty look, and I say, "I HAVE DRY MOUTH, DEAL WITH IT".
Also, matchbooks and matchboxes. But I don't smoke.
I always take the hotel stuff.
I usually take ketchup packets and soy sauce.
I won't necessarily take extra napkins, but if they give them to me in a to-go bag, I save them.
I had some issues during my college years...I would go to a party at someones apt and take things. The thing that is really funny is that I ALWAYS stole the Van Halen 5150 cassette tape. (Yes, it was 1991...I said CASSETTE tape) I must have had 12 copies of that tape. I remember my friend Kathy getting pissed at me one night because THAT is what I took. I still love Van Halen to this day...
BTW...I found you over at the DGM love fest...via deedee
OK.....So I'm going to have a party and invite all of you. We'll have sugar & sweet n'low packets, ketchup and mustard, a shit load of napkins - Coasters to put our drinks on - some weird ass fake plastic lobster and a Van Halen cassette tape to jam out to.
my husband appears to be hoarding ketchup and Arby's sauce packets. he hasn't touched the stafff of them in 10 mos...
Hehehe.
I got ARRESTED while stealing some Hair Picks from The Limited. What makes this especially funny is that it was totally After School Special Style. My buddy literally peer-pressured me into it and I did it because I had no backbone.
I came via The List and am adding you to my blogroll. You're funny, and I like funny.
I'm also guilty with the napkins. They come in handy in the car and on my desk at work. I'm not a big traveller, but I have made off with a few hotel soaps in my day, too (I mean, the few times I've actually stayed in a hotel, and not creeping in and pilfering them in the dead of night)
One single Andes mint. I was five, and I thought they were free. They were right between the cash register and they "Take a penny" bowl. It wasn't clearly marked, so how was I supposed to know?
In case you're wondering, a single Andes back in 1983 went for a whopping .05. And my mom, when she saw what I had done, made me take a nickel up to the waitress and fess up. I was mortified by my unintentional rebellious act.
I stole Exclamation! perfume in 1990 (I was 13). I got busted. It was horrible. Thankfully I have been on the straight and narrow since...
That is too funny.
My aunt was on a limited budget, and when we would go out to eat at buffet style places, she would pcoket the sugar and add a few pieces of fruit...bananas, apples etc...to her purse. She was a hoot!
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