8/24/2009

1827 Days Stumble Upon Digg It! Add to Delicious Add to Technorati

|

Hey Booger....

I'm not entirely sure why 5 years seems like such a benchmark age; maybe it's because it's the age you have to be before starting kindergarten - which is about to open an a whole new world to you, or maybe it's just a nice neat number that fits all on one hand. But either way, today you are five years old, and let me be the first to say that I am amazed that we haven't totally and completely screwed you up.

There are some things that you know about me already - things that you have decided all on your own. I'm sure you think that I'm funny and silly - but also firm and strict. I imagine that's confusing to you. You probably think that I say no too much - and have weird rules about bedtime, holding my hand, Sponge Bob Square Pants and those little Bratz girls. I further confuse you when I let you stay up late for no good reason, give you pancakes for dinner or let you play in the sprinkler with your clothes on. All in all, 5 years old can be a very confusing age.

But let me tell you some things about your ol' mom that you don't know yet, but I'm sure will find out soon enough. I am a big freak of paranoid nature. I'm scared of everything, and there has not been a moment in the last 1,827 days that I have not been in a constant state of fear. I'm perfectly aware that you are going to fall and scrap your knee, fall off your bike, get your finger caught in a car door and get your heart broken....those are the things that I know will happen, and while although I wish they wouldn't - they will. Just know that I will always be behind you to pick you back up and put you back on the bike, or get your finger out of the door - or to break the legs of the boy that screwed you over.

However, these are not the things that scare me the most - it's everything that I can't put a band aid on that is the scariest. Everything outside the walls of our house...everything I can't see. All of those horrible things that seem to happen to "everyone else". Basically all the reasons why your father won't let me watch the news anymore.

I know you won't understand any of this right now - part of me is glad you don't understand. But when I'm getting in on you because you run away from me at the grocery store - or because you still haven't nailed the whole "look both ways" before you cross the street....Just know that there is a reason. There is a reason for everything. I don't say no to be mean, and I don't yell because I like the sound of my voice.

I do these things because I love you. Too much.

Now go eat your broccoli.

7 comments:

Big Kahuna said...

And be careful of paper cuts to her eye.

just making my way said...

Ha! (Sorry - before I get mushy, the paper cut to the eye thing just totally cracked me up again.)

That was lovely. And I feel much the same way towards my six year old. Especially about the SpongeBob thing...

This will be so special for her to look back on in the future!

Brakes and Gas said...

She may not understand now, but she will someday when she knows what it is to love a child. I learned about it 5 months ago when I had my daughter. I guess in 1827 (minus 5 months) days I will still be the quivering mass of fear, insecurity, and general gushiness that I have been since March?
Beautiful post!

mumma boo said...

Beautiful post, Kerrie! Happy Birthday to your bestest girl!

Bejewell said...

Dammit now I'm all teary. Happy 5th birthday, little booger!!

Aunt Becky said...

Happy Birthday, ickle one! Sorry I'm late to the party. Wait...is there still some CAKE for me?

Heather said...

I know!!! I can't believe my little guy is off to kindergarten this year! That was a big step for both of us, although he was so excited that I couldn't be too sad. Time flies, huh?