Sometimes I think it's hard to wrap your head around this blogging thing...especially when trying to explain to people who either don't do it, don't read them, or don't even know what they are. There is an entirely separate community I'm a part of, that most of my friends and family are not a part of that I sometimes have difficulty describing certain aspects of it.

Perfect example. I was talking to a friend the other day and she and her husband were considering doing some major house work. Maybe an add on, like a sun-room. Or maybe a new deck. They were throwing some possibilities around, the finances, how long it would take. I responded that a friend of mine was in the middle of building a new garage. I didn't really think that it had to be clarified before hand that the friend was Carolyn, who I've never met, have never spoken to on the phone, and have no idea who her general contractor is. However, that was exactly what my friend asked for...."Oh, can she give me the number of her..." Well hell. I just simply said she's out of state, and left it at that.

I don't WANT to have to clarify the difference between these friends and those friends. But the truth is, they are different. I don't send y'all Christmas cards. I don't have your phone numbers. And what's worse...Sometimes you're just gone. With no explanation.

I know people blog for different reasons. Some would like to potentially make money. Some do as a "live journal", some do it just for the outlet that it provides. Additionally, there are a lot of reasons why people quit. Maybe it's just not something you can keep up with, maybe the sense of anonymity that you wanted is gone, or maybe something truly horrible happened where you feel you can no longer keep doing it.

Just in the last few months I've lost 4 blogs in my reader. Just gone. It was actually six, but one person sent me a personal email and the other kind of had a quick "last" post before shutting down.

It's weird to be on the other end of that. Not really close enough to call them and ask "What the hell?", but at the same time you've been reading about their lives for years, you almost feel like you, I don't know, deserve an explanation. Strong word I know, and not really how I feel.

But it can feel like you lost a friend in a way. Even if only a cyber-one.

7 comments:

Mad Woman said...

Totally get it. In some ways, my bloggy friends are people I am closer to than my "real life" friends. Especially now that I'm in a new town, new country and have NO friends. There are some of you all that I feel I can send an email to and say "hey what's up" and there are others who I'm happy just reading the stuff on their blog. Either way, you're all friends.

And yeah, it totally sucks when people just disappear. I went to read up on one of my faves the other day and was told I didn't have permission to view that site. I was all "what the hell?!". It hurt and I wasn't sure why. But I think you just summed it up pretty good.

just making my way said...

I really know where you are coming from on this one. Having been sort of all over the map myself in past months.

And then there is the fear of going away and trying to come back, but not being able to let everyone know. Or just not having them come back to you.

It is a weird dynamic.

mumma boo said...

*nods head vigorously* I'm right there with you. I have a separate folder in my favorites list for "blogs on hold" because I keep hoping I'll click on them one day and find that the blogger has decided to resume. Especially the one who had the last quick post (if we're talking about the same person). My heart aches for her and I'd really like to know if she's ok. I don't have any right to know, I guess, and it's not about making me feel better about her situation, but, well, you know what I mean, right?

Badass Geek said...

I'm always explaining the difference between my internet friends to my real life friends. Fortunately (or unfortunately, perhaps), I have much more of the former than the latter.

Aunt Becky said...

I know exactly what you mean. I just went through my link page and had to delete a number of blogs of people that just...vanished.

How do you feel when you get dropped by someone online, though? Curious.

Cat said...

One of my favorites just... disappeared. I'm kind of worried about her...

SmartAssMom said...

You know what's even worse? When they take their blog private. And they're all "I didn't anticipate so many people lurking" and then your face gets red because you're who she's talking about, but hey, that's what blogs are there for, right? And then you're all excluded and stuff and it feels weird and a little dirty.