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None of the following is enough for a whole post - but I jotted them down during the week and stuck them in the my purse.

My husband has been out of town all week, so I've been managing the double duty again. I was putting her down for bed the other night, after a particularly long day at work and a rather brutal round of "what the hell did you make for dinner" and she asked me to tell her a story instead of reading her one. Considering how tired I was, and that I would probably just steal someone else's work anyway - I told her to tell
me one. She seemed excited at the prospect. The following was her story. Word for word.

"Once there was a dog.
He ran into the street....
and then he got crush by a car.
The end"

About a week or so ago we took my car in for a routine oil change and tire rotation - yesterday my car was in the shop because the $60 routine stuff ended up costing me $587 at the auto shop. Apparently they screwed the rotation up severely, and unrelated to that, my rotors are shot. I feel better knowing that the car is safer to drive, but the cost of safe driving is going to force me to not eat or drink for the next three weeks.

I offered the guy at the auto shop my ovary as payment, since I have no intention of using them anymore, and I have two...so, technically I suppose I could live with one.

He told me that he really wasn't in the market for an ovary, but if I had a liver to offer, we could talk.

I said "Well no, I HAVE a kid - I
need that liver"

I dropped her off at school this morning and spent a couple minutes talking to some of her friends while saying goodbye. This was the basic conversation...All said at breakneck speed.

"I like Dinosaurs!" said boy
"I had Apple Jacks for Breakfast!" said other boy
"Look At Me! Look At Me" said girl
"Today Is Pizza Day!" said girl again
"I like Pizza Day!" said girl again
"My Mom Thinks My Dad Is A Jerk" said other little girl

My daughter turned and looked and me and said, "She's new"


-kerrie said...

P.S. Don't ask me to babysit your dog

mumma boo said...

"She's new." - Priceless. :)

Skye said...

I'm kind of glad the dog story was that succinct. With additional details, it probably would have either been a tear-jerker or gross. Or both.