The Mini Van Soap Box

We all have our silent (or not so silent) phobias and fears. I, like many people in my family, am not a big fan of flying. At all. I've spoken with some of them about their fears, some came about shortly after 9/11, for some it came after a bad flight. And for some, the fear is so strong that they will not fly at all. My fear came after a short jaunt from Virginia to Florida for my older sisters wedding. I was about 20 or so at the time, and everyone had already gone down for the festivities, but I had to go by myself later, because I couldn't take so much time off of work. I had flown by myself before - and remember not being anxious about it all. However, as I've come to find out - flights to Florida from Virginia are almost always 'a bit bumpy'.

How fortunate I was at that time, and that age, to experience this particular flight by myself. It was more like a roller coaster ride than a flight. About an hour into it - there was pudding and soda dripping from the ceiling of the plane, children clinging to their mothers, rosaries were clutched in the hands of the believers....and 'oh lucky me' - an odd group of CHANTERS sitting behind me. There was no question at the time that I was going to die.

Thankfully, I'm here to type this story today. When we touched down and taxied to our gate - the tears flowing freely from all the passengers (and even some of the crew) we were not ashamed to show - and the hug/death grip that I put on my Aunt who was waiting for me - I'm surprised didn't break her ribs.

So, as I've said - we all have our own little fears. Which brings me to my post for today.

Apparently for 15 year old, Andrei (last name not given at this time) from Urals in Russia is NOT afraid of flying.....AT ALL.

Fleeing from his alcoholic father, and a mother who sides with his father - Andrei ran away from home to a nearby village where his Grandmother lived. Once he got there - he decided to keep going, and hitched his way to the airport.

This is where the story gets really interesting.

Andrei then climbed onto the wing of a Boeing-737 and hung on for an entire 2 hour flight from Perm to Moscow - and survived.

He was found after collapsing on the tarmac at the Moscow airport, his limbs so frozen that they were unable to even remove his jacket.

The Boeing-737 has a cruising speed of roughly 560 miles per hour, and temperatures of almost -60 degrees.......Doctors say it is nothing short of a miracle that this boy survived.

Moscow airport officials at this time are for sure not commenting on this, and have even said "We have no information on this", however Moscow's Air and Water Transport Control Department said this story was true.

Now I've spent enough time at Dulles International Airport to know that it's a fairly busy place. How on earth this kid was able to sneak onto the grounds, climb onto the wing of the plane and not be seen by a soul is pretty weird to me - which is why I seriously debated even writing about this in the first place. However, I did my research this time and have found this story on a few sites (including Yahoo News) and even heard it on the radio on my way home from dropping off at school.

Regardless - even if this holds any truth - my prayers are definitly with this kid as he recovers. I imagine things have to be pretty bad at home to bring someone to hitching a ride on a wing of a plane.

**turns out he was hiding INSIDE the wing of the plane. However, the temperature would still be about the same - however, makes the idea of "clinging" to the wing a little more plausible. A writer that I read often has also found further information that it looks as though there is the possibility that his hands will have to be amputated**

It's a party ya'll - and currently only for one. It's my own private personal pity party.

What I thought started out as allergies - simply because everyone in the world was also having the same problems and complaints, including my husband and child - has turned out to be a full fledged, kick my ass, my head is twelve times too big, can't breathe, cold.

Today is a regularly scheduled day off of work, so while I would usually be busting out the paint cans, joint compound and laser levels, I'm using this day to 'veg'. I still had to get up and take the monster to school this morning, however came straight home and crawled back into bed. I'm surrounded by my only friends at this time - a box of Mucinex DM, Tylenol Sinus, a gallon of water, inhaler, puffs plus, cell phone and, of course, Charlie.









I hate being sick. I can't function. I hate not being able to do the things that I normally do easily - or enjoying the things that I normally find joy in. Things irritate me faster. The sun is too bright - and everything is too loud.

(like I said - Welcome to my pity party)

However, it's times like these, where I am feeling extremely sorry for myself, that I remind myself of a trip my Grandmother took, many years ago, from Seattle to Japan, with two infant children. The 'boat' (and I use that term very loosely) had a strong resemblance to something about the same size as a tug boat. She was violently ill the entire time - had to take care of TWO infants on this trip, and the trip took about 2 MONTHS!

So....there could be worse things.

It doesn't mean that I don't still feel like road kill, but I do know that I could be worse.

I'm glad I have him around to pick up the slack with the kid, and I need to learn to start taking care of myself at the ON SET of getting sick, instead of the other way around.

And I'll end by saying this, this is the first time I've actually turned the tv on for day time programming in a LONG time...And I've just experienced 'The View' for the first time.

I don't like it. There are five women now - and not one can get a word in edge wise. And I feel kind of bad for Elizabeth. She's obviously the ONLY conservative in the group - and just gets pounded...by her 'cast mates'. I know we've all heard/read about all the crap about Rosie and Elizabeth - and I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as it used to be - but it's impossible to find any sense in the non-stop talking of five opinionated women.

It's time for next fix of Tylenol Sinus.

I'm not sure if it's because I've been going non-stop for three days combined with the cold/allergy issue I'm having - but today was the hardest day thus far.

We started off on the wrong foot with her up at 4:00 am...(yes - that's 4 AM) wanting to watch Jo Jo's circus. Damn near impossible to explain to an upset three year old that Jo Jo doesn't come on for another THREE HOURS! So, tears and fights ensued. She eventually calmed down and fell back asleep. However, once I'm up ... I find it difficult to go back to sleep. So, I tossed and turned until about 6:00 where I guess I dozed off for a while - just to get up an hour later.

Dressed and off to school - double big gulp and back home to keep painting. Today's task was the master bedroom. Mostly just painting the master bedroom. The former owners hadn't painted it a horrid color by any means - but almost just an absence of color. This sort of dull gray.... I decided to change to 'green tea'. As stated earlier, I don't know why, but what should have been the easiest room to paint (no taping off, no dueling colors) was the hardest to do. I think mostly because our furniture is ENORMOUS - everything has to be moved away from the walls to give me enough space to work. But because they are so big, and so damn heavy - you don't move them that far - and end up only giving yourself about four inches of work space.

Anyway - it's done. I'm ok with it. I like the COLOR better then what was there before - but now I want to replace the bedspread and all the window treatments... :) (all the furniture and the carpet....)

Bedroom Before:









Bedroom After: (i think i like their picture better....)










I doubt I'll be posting any pictures tomorrow - unless ya'll want a picture of the Shell gas station where I'll be getting my emissions done, or the DMV at Fair Oaks mall.

I've got a cousin in town this weekend - so I imagine we'll be doing our fair share of boozing and chatting. There's football on Sunday - and then back to work on Monday.

But most importantly - Survivor starts tonight. Must see t.v. baby!

As I sit here with beer in hand, listening to Canon in D, I am mentally checking things off in my head that have been accomplished - and those that still need attention. I would say all in all - today was a productive day - albeit filled with many words we would not use in front of the spawn - but productive none the less. I'm downstairs painting and I hear a loud "!?X*#^" from the top level.....Ah...He must be installing the new baby gate at the top of the stairs.

I am happy to report that my craft room is done (mostly). To YOU it will be done because I take pictures far enough away that I hope you can't see where I need to touch the paint up. But for the viewing public - the Mama Craft Room is complete, plus sitting room to boot.

The room before we moved in: (these were photos taken before we even bought the house)










(Whoa - Wait....Music change...The Hungarian Dance No. 5 in G Minor isn't very soothing typing music).

And this is what I did today:



















I'm still a bit unsure of my choices. No one can say I'm afraid of color....But it's reminding me a bit of the Argentina National Flag....








Anyway - I'm happy with it, for now. Basements often become "catch all" spaces for the other rooms. You don't like that bookcase anymore...chuck it in the basement, etc. So, I'm having to work with the furniture that is already down there. The coffee table and end tables are too large for that space (I'm in the process of trying to sell them) - and the picture didn't show the large hunter green chaise lounge on the left side of the room (which doesn't really flow with my Argentina Theme).

He got quite a bit done as well - but not the stuff he wanted to. He's eager to strip my PC for parts now that Charlie has arrived, but one thing or another keeps getting in the way.

So, we're down to only two days left. One of those days has already been claimed for "outside" errands. We still have yet to register our cars to our new town, haven't had an oil change in a decade, and the spawn is about two weeks overdue for her shots (oh joy), so Friday is the day for all that. That being said, I have one more day to transform this house into MY house.

So Stay Tuned.....Ah....Suite No. 3 in D..............................................

Day 2 was NOT as productive as I would have liked it to be.

As with a lot of houses - not every wall is even - not every hole is a perfect rectangle or square. Which made installing the doors a chore and a half. In addition - it is pretty much a one person job - there's cutting and hammering...and he pretty much only needed me to help with holding during install. I would have gone and started another project, however the walls in this damn house are so screwed up he was installing every 10 minutes...(a slight adjustment here, a tightened screw there) So I really wasn't able to real get into anything until all the installing was done. My job after the installing was the tape, mud and paint portion..."Ok - I have built it. Now make it pretty".

HA! No such luck. Granted, for the first time that I've ever hung, taped and threw joint compound on sheet rock....It wasn't THAT bad of a job. But trust me - it's a bad job.

It's a total Monet....From far away it looks great - up close - it's a total mess!!!

Add insult to injury - I think I'm sick. It might be allergies...or a horrible cold on it's way. Allergies are a new thing for me - so I'm not necessarily sure at this point how to recognize an allergy or a head cold.

OR it could be Charlies fault for keeping me up so late (and this sister that I have...that remains nameless......)

Regardless....Day 2 In Living Color.

The doors before:













The doors after:














That's about it for the day. Some odds and ends got done and a trip to CVS for allergy and cold medication, I moved some furniture around (and then back again it seems) and he mowed the lawn.

Beer O'Clock is 45 minutes early today...

Cheers.

Today was the first day of our official stay home and 'get shit done' week. We gave ourselves five days - child free - to paint, hammer, jig & miter, build, and other wise organize. Today's large projects were finishing the spawns room - and to start construction on the fourteen aluminum/tin bi-fold doors that are currently in the house, to be replaced with actual wood bi fold doors. We started off with a bit of a rocky beginning - prep time was longer then expected and a trip to home depot for some unexpected purchases put us off our time table a bit....but that's to be expected for the first day.

And as promised - I am pleased to show you the fruits of our labor - Day 1.

The babies room - before: She is moving into what was going to be a guest room / mama craft room:










I am very happy with the results of her new room. I have a few small touches to make...I need new poles for the window treatments....and the pictures are driving me crazy as they won't hang right and look 'wonky'....but all in all I'm very excited for her to come home and see it. May I introduce the new Big Girl Room.























I'm not going to post any pictures of the before and after of the doors yet...as we're not quite done. The doors are framed and hung, but I need to mud, tape and paint tomorrow.

I'll update everyone again tomorrow at the beer hour to let you know how Day 2.

Every day I breeze through the headlines of CNN, Newsweek and The Washington Post to see what's going on in the world. And every day, like the day before, my heart breaks for those children that were exploited or kidnapped, soldiers that have lost their lives, or the hundreds of other horrid things that happen in our country and others.

However, TODAY, is a day of rejoicing - and a day for some naked horizontal mambo apparently.

Russia has suffered a great population decline since the 1991 Soviet collapse. This problem has been fed by low life expectancy, declining birth rates, a spike in emigration to other countries and a health care system that is lacking. So, as I posted a while back - they are having the OPPOSITE problem of China.



One, in my opinion, brilliant Governor of Ulyanovsk (about 900 kilometers from Russia) has declared Wednesday, September 12 - 'Day of Conception'. Those couples that sign up - are given the day off of work to ... well....conceive.



Couples that give birth on the pre-determined day (June 12 of next summer) are then in the running for new cars, money, and other assorted gifts and prizes.

The Price is Reproduction. The Wheel of Copulation. Who Wants to Be A Parent? Let's Make A Baby.

Now, people seem to be torn on how they 'feel' about this Day of Screwing....And it looks as those that were interviewed in the article that I read didn't even want to give their names. However, I think it's brilliant.

Think about it. One of the largest issues you are having in your country/area is the declining population....OBVIOUSLY what you need is for babies to be born. How else to get that done? You can't go around and impregnate everyone yourself...So, offer cash and prizes for those people that do.

They also have a program in place for those that choose to have a second child (outside of the Day of Fornicating). Cash and vouchers are given to those for schooling or housing improvements.

I also liked the fact that the prizes given on June 12 of next year are actually determined not by JUST having a baby on June 12, but also if you are a loving family of husband and wife - not just young Susie and Johnny looking to get a new SUV. I see nothing wrong with this at all. If you were thinking about having a baby anyway.....Why not wait until the day you get off of work - and maybe after having to deal with 9 months of swollen ankles, sore back, hemorrhoids, and not being able to see if the shoes you are wearing are matching or not - get yourself a little gift at the end.

I would love to be in Ulyanovsk today. It would be great to walk the streets and see how quiet this place is today.

Seriously - A day off of work so you can get busy. I think that's fantastic.

I had the opportunity last night to go to a concert - probably my first concert in about, oh...I don't know...10 years? I'm not talking about the general sort of "live music" - but real life concert. Too much money for a ticket, nose bleed seats, too many people with BO....you know the drill.


If memory serves, the last "concert" I went to was Jimmy Buffett...about...yea - about 9 years ago. So, this was an interesting experience for me. I'm a bit older now - a bit more set in my ways - and, I believe, far better these days at the sport of "people watching".

And wow - did we have some last night.

Country music is great. I think the people in general are happy people. Most of the songs that country singers sing are about falling in love, losing a love, drinking too much - or the good ol' U.S.of A. So....in general you get a good group of beer drinking, USA lovin', country folk - just getting together to kick up their heels, sing way to loud and show off their new pick 'em up trucks.

However, there is the 'younger' generation of country. These young ladies apparently go to a country concert to hook up. Because....seriously....damn.

Let me give you an idea of how the majority of the day is spent. It's spent in 90 degree weather, sitting in between a Dodge Ram and a Ford Pick Up, sun beating down on you, on a gravel 4 acre parking lot.

This does NOT seem to me the time to dress up in my 'ho outfit and peruse the crowd for my one and only. But, man, I tell you - they were out in force yesterday.

For the most part - everyone was great and had a good time. But I learned, quite quickly I might add, that I am not well versed in the art of the tail gate.

The Tail Gate is the part that starts up to 9 hours before the actual concert begins. Some people go to get the best parking space they can to ensure a quick escape at the end of the evening. However, most go to enjoy the companionship of their country friends and their NEW country friends (all 25,000 of them). It is simply was it sounds like - park the car - open the tail gate.....and "hang"....

So, we did. The concert started at 8:00 - we got there at about 4:00. It was nice. We drank some beers - pulled out the lawn chairs and chit chatted. All in all - a lovely afternoon spent with my girlfriends - and made a few friends along the way.

But, like I said - we are NOT true tailgaters ya'll. Please observe Exhibit A:











Yep....That's a toilet.

And for the sake of my readers - and for the sake of me growing as a human being - I did pee in this tent of a potty.

It was odd...I'll give you that. However....I had, about an hour prior, used the "public" facilities. Hot - Nasty - and already out of TP. So, you know what....This wasnt all that bad.

I suppose not a bad investment to make if you are of the serious tail gater types....About $80 for the tent and about $60 for the potty. (I of course had to discuss in detail with this man about his potty before I used it)

I also had my friend "spot" me while I was in. I mean, come on....Friends don't let friends pee in tents alone.

Just a quick thought before Bull Riding Challenge comes on....

We had some friends come over tonight. We've been doing a "happy hour" thing for a while now, but she's been pregnant, for what I'm sure seems to her, for about 100 years now - so they have been fewer in the last couple months. Truth is - She's exhausted. We're exhausted.

They are the friends that I had spoken about the other day with the pool....They have a little one about the age of mine - so they are little friends. Works out well for us adults...we can set the kids up outside and let them run themselves crazy and us adults can consume an adult beverage and chit chat.

However....both of our children are going through....."the phase".....

They jump from sweet "give me kisses" to chucking and breaking things in lightening speed.

Our friends tonight, unfortunately, got the brunt of the "behavior"....However, I hope they know it was an off night for ours - because she's usually just the same.

It is nice though to spend some time with someone who is going through EXACTLY what you are. Understands the "time outs", the bribes, and everything else when you are going through this particular phase. They don't question when you swat a hand - or pull them aside for a little discussion....It just is.

Conversation will actually hold....and pause....while you do the "thing"....and then start back up again when you get back.

Like I've said before - We don't have a lot of friends. We're pretty much home-bodies. So - it's really nice every so often to get with someone and not have to do that "apologize" thing because your kid is a total lunatic.

Ok - Soft moment over. Time for some bull ridin' baby!

Shortly after my previous post on losing track of my crafty side - I made some big decisions.

The 'office' space I have - just wasn't going to work. Unfortunately - for me to move out of that room, basically meant that every other room in the house also had to be shifted.

So, my craft room is being moved down to the basement, the babies room is now going to be the largest of the guest rooms and her room will be the guest room.

Hubby - not happy.

We've successfully moved all my crap down to the basement...maybe except for a few odds and ends. An "L" shaped desk, three bookcases, all the computer equipment, all the craft supplies and a big honking chair. Other than the sweat that day produced - I also was able for the first time to figure out how to "use my legs & not my back". However, I think I'm going to go back to using my back. There are leg muscles that are still hurting six days later - Muscles I didnt' even know I had.

Once that was finished - and although not anywhere close to being put together and neat - I went back upstairs to survey what I had.....Hmmmm.....More issues.

When we bought this house and moved in - the room we put her in was ironically already a little girl color. A real pretty lavender. So - easy enough - didn't have to worry about that now did I? Her furniture which I painted about three years ago went great - and the 'bed in a bag' that I had ready for her was in fact, lavender and sage green! Brilliant.

Well - the new room is NOT lavender and green. It's kind of a "dirty over time" cream/white thing. Well poop - I can't move her in HERE. I have to paint it!

Off to Home Depot.

And of course - anything worth doing - is worth doing over the top and something that will take a very long time to do. I did not just get one color - I got two.

With all of the projects that one simple "I hate my craft room" has started - He and I are both taking some time off of work the week after next to get this stuff done.

I will say this though - I am SUPER excited about her room. The room she has now is pretty small - so pretty much just holds her bed and furniture. In her new room - she can have her toys, and her little table - with room to spare. And also - space for the Mama chair next to her bed so I can read her stories at night. I'm looking forward to that as well.

Pictures will come - I promise. I don't want to show anyone the half way job....I think it will far more dramatic to see the before and afters.

So - my craft room? Still sucks. But I'll get to that eventually. At least I'm doing something KIND OF creative.

The crispness of the air, the turning of the leaves, happy children back to school, and football season. What could be better than the return of another Virginia Fall season.

As much as I LOVE summer, I do think that maybe Fall is my most favorite season - not so much because of the weather....But because of what the turning of the season brings to me.

It's the Fall TV Schedule.

As I've honestly stated before, I am a tv whore, and make no qualms about it. However, with every new fall tv line up, comes a bit of talking and planning between the other half and myself.

We have the tivo, this much I've told you before. The tivo can record two programs at one time. So say, at 8:00 on a Thursday night we're both sitting at the tv.... He HATES survivor. So, the tivo allows us to go beyond any sort or marital discord and not have to watch Survivor RIGHT THEN...It it being happily recorded on our other 'channel'. He gets up, walks away....I switch over and start the program from the beginning. Pausing and rewinding when needed for restroom, beer and "what the hell did he just say?" breaks.

Sadly, though, the problem is - the Tivo only records two shows at one time. Yes, I realize that to some this may seem like a very small problem...however, like I've said before - he and I watch VERY different programs.

There is much debate and controversy the month leading up to the Fall Line Up. We print out the Fall Schedule....all normal broadcast channels, in addition to Sci-Fi, Bravo, CW, etc - and then discuss which tuner each night will be tuned to which show.

We have the same downfall every season .... The "New Fall Premiere" show. The show that actually looks pretty cool in the commercial...However, we're just out of space and can't afford to fit anyone new in. What to do???

We've made bad choices before....We've given up a slot for the show that was canceled after only 3 weeks.(Surface, E-Ring, Drive, Justice, Threshold and Studio 60)...And then had to catch back up with the show that we decided to push aside for the newbie.

We try to be very serious about who we give our slots to - and who we don't. Some ALWAYS make the cut. There is the "always will be" for him - no questions asked. And my "standard" list" that he wouldn't dream of interfering with. And while the following list is going to humiliate me beyond repair...I will share with them with you none the less.

This was too damn funny not to say anything.

Apparently in preparation for the 2008 Summer Beijing Olympics, The Beijing Tourism Bureau has released a list of 2,700 names of food that they would like to replace some the CURRENT "english" translations on local menus and signs.

For example: If you want some 'steamed carp'....You would actually order up yourself a big pile of "Steamed Crap".

Or an order of Kung Pao Chicken is going to get you: "The Temple Explodes the Chicken Cube".

Virgin Chicken....actually just simply young chicken. Burnt Lions Head.....Chinese Style Pork Meatballs.

I don't know about you - but I prefer my Lions Head medium rare, and would really rather my chickens not be sluts.

The Temple Explodes the Chicken Cube????

I think I'm going to send that one to Hayley to see what she comes up with.

My husband and I have spent the better part of our holiday weekend just wishing the spawn would sleep a while and feel better. In my last post - I had JOKED that the way she was acting we were running very short on patience and were seconds away from killing her.

What happened over the next two days - has led me to believe that I will never makes jokes like that again!!

Shortly after I posted on Sunday I decided I just had to get her out of the house for a while - sick or not - get her some sunshine and play and hopefully run her until she slept from total exhaustion. So, I packed up some snacks, sippy cups and her "baby soup" (bathing suit) and headed for Grandmommys house. Moms next door neighbors are friends of ours, and their little one goes to school with ours...so they came over with towels in hand as well. While the husbands sat on the bench and watched the frolicking, the moms headed into the pool and spent the better portion of an hour and a half playing the "jumping game" with the kids.

The 'jumping game' is a pretty simple game. Put the child on one of the lower steps of the pool, stand less than a foot away and have the child "jump" into your arms. It's really more of a take a step off the step and mom picks you up. But THEY think it's a freakin' riot. So, we play. Every so often the kids want to switch parental units, so I would "catch" the other child and she would "catch" mine.

After a while - the game got a bit boring I suppose for the kids, so they spent some time just sitting on the step and playing with some bath toys. This gave my friend and I some time to talk about "mommy" type o' things. She's VERY pregnant you see, so I was catching up on the latest news of no sleep, hemorrhoids, and doctor visits when out of the corner of my eye - My child disappears.

Seems as though my child had decided it was time to start playing the jumping game again - but didn't think it was important information to share with me. What felt like a lifetime to me - but was only probably half a second - my kid is sinking to the bottom of the pool. I ripped her out - and turned a very lovely shade of gray I was later told. Once I had her out of the water - there was a moment of silence - and all the OTHER adults started to clap "Yea...You went under water". I'm standing there clutching my wet rat of a child looking at all of them like they are crazy - when I get this "look" from my mom. It dawned on me suddenly what every one was doing - "Hey Dork - Let's not make her afraid of the water!"

OK, I get that. And I'm certainly glad that the other folks were there to jump in for me since my ability to speak was none existent. No, I don't want her to be afraid of the water. I would like her to be a LITTLE afraid of the water - but I could have done a lot more harm than good if I had gone with my gut instinct. My husband told me later in the car that I handled it well - which I guess after a moment of terror I did.

But wow - that one second scared the shit out of me.

Let's now fast forward to this morning.

Today is her first day in a new class at school. She's no longer in the toddler/2 year old class. She's in preschool. New teacher, New Room - on the OPPOSITE side of the building than her last class. I knew this morning was going to be a hard transition since she LOVED her last teacher so much....So, I've been hyping up today for about a week. How exciting it was, How great her new teacher is (never met the women before this morning), How much of a big girl she is..etc, etc.

So, still moving a little slow because of the before mentioned cold....We finally get to school and I unstrap her, get her bag, and reach down to take her hand to walk into the building - where she then pivots on me and takes off like a rocket. Once again, in a span of two days my heart just stops dead. She came within seconds of getting nailed by a maroon Honda accord.

This is my child - always has been. I've tried to explain to people why we don't let her run free in unprotected areas...but they don't ever seem to believe me. While I was on a ride my sister lost her for a short time once in Walt Disney World....It's very easy to do. She has no fear. And she's fast. The husband and I are the people who have to invest in baby leashes - and get pointed out and chastised because our child isn't a dog....Well...sure....We know this.....Shut up....Your kid is ugly.

I will say this - that car was going WAY too fast for a daycare parking lot. I don't know if he's actually a parent or was just breezing through our parking lot - but if he IS a parent - he's a moron.

That was my last two days in a nutshell. Her first day of preschool did not necessarily go the way I wanted to because she and I had to have a little "chat" on the sidewalk about running away from me and that cars will hurt her. Lots of hugs - and "you scared mommy"....

So, there it is. I was kidding. It was joke. I don't think I'll be making jokes of that nature anymore - because I really feel if my heart stops one more time it's not going to restart again.

sick, disease, ill, cooties, laid up, peaked, pukey or queasy....Take your pick...They all pretty much mean the same thing. You feel like shit.

I think that sickness often brings out the true nature of people...or rather what their true nature could be.

Take a cancer patient. A mother with three children and a husband that she adores. Never complains - never falters. Takes her treatments....loses her hair.....But greets each day as it's her last. She fights. She never gives up.

A soldier loses a leg in battle. But instead of just sitting in his wheelchair and feeling sorry for himself - He fights back. He learns to run the marathon with a prosthetic.

It's becoming clear to me that in the face of GREAT hardship - is when we find our will to fight back and kick life in the ass.

That can not be said for the average illness.

My daughter has a killer cold. And not the "killer" I need to take her to the doctor kind. But more alone the lines of - her parents are going to kill her.

Give her a fever....and she's the sweetest child in the world. She wants to lay with me, and cuddle with me - she'll hold my hand and let me take care of her.

Give her the average every day cold - and she's Gunnar Hansen from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. She will take down anyone in her path with whatever is handy. A lego to the forehead or a juice box to the groin. She transforms from the sweet angel of a daughter I have - to the devil incarnate.

The man and I have had a very serious dealing with the word patience in the last few days. Throw on top of the fact that she's hurling barbies dream car at us whenever she doesn't get her way - but she is also refusing to nap. Which, however, I do understand. She can't breathe...And trying to explain to a three year old that if she sat up a little in her bed she wouldn't cough so much, doesn't really work. She likes to sleep ON her face. But just because I understand why it's difficult for her to sleep - doesn't mean that I'm not tempted to give her a sippy cup filled with bourbon.

Just a couple hours of quiet for Mama and Daddy is all we ask sometimes. Give us some time to allow our temperatures to go back down to normal.

Anyway - the baby is sick. I do feel very bad for her and we are trying to make her as comfortable as possible. But right now, HER definition of comfortable is we give her full control of the television, every possible toy she owns will decorate every room, we'll hand over the keys to the car so she can go where she wants, and Mama and Daddy will move out of the house.

I can already feel my parents snickering that we get back what we gave....However, if you say that to me I may have to put her on a bus and send her to you until the cold has past.