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For the last 24 hours I have been contemplating this post. Apparently there is a thing called "tagging" among us bloggers and as of yesterday morning - I was tagged. I have been challenged to write a Meme (that's what it's called....really). I have been given a topic on which to write about and rules to follow, thanks to Mumma Boo.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hated school? Did I ever tell you guys that I dropped out of college? Me - thinking - classrooms - assignments: Not a good mix. It hurts my brain. I would much rather be thinking about ways I can rearrange my living room or how I can manage to find out where my personal trainer lives and nail all her doors shut so she can't get out.

However, I can not explain how happy it makes me to have readers AT ALL. So therefore, I will comply and compose my essay.


Today's Topic: 5 Classes I Wish They Had Taught In School

1. Bad Boys Are Really Just That: BAD!
Prerequisite: None - With the exception of poor judgment of character and low self esteem
In this class we will explore the many different ways one can shield themselves from low life scum boyfriends that will suck you dry and make you feel as though you are a loser.

Optional Elective Courses: Do Not Let Him Move In With His Dog and Under No Circumstances Are You To Marry Him!

2. National Television Theory 101
Prerequisite: Must Be A TV Whore
This class will give you the tools in which you will need to make sound choices in your television viewing. Completion of this course will eliminate the desire to watch shows, and desperately love, that will ultimately be canceled by the 5th airing.

3. Padawan Training: Beginner
Prerequisite: Appropriate Amount Of Midichlorians
All beginning Jedi must take this course to learn the art of Mind Control. Would you like him to clean the bathroom? Would you like her to sit down and stop singing Twinkle Twinkle little star for 5 damn minutes? Would you like the asshole in the corvette in front of you to actually learn where the gas pedal is? When you satisfactorily complete this course everyone's mind will be your playground.

Advanced Electives: Jedi Knight Training, Learn To Move Things With Your Mind. A handy power to have when she's gotten out of bed for the 18th time.

4. Mary Poppins Cleaning: Crash Course
Prerequisite: A Dirty House
This class is a down and dirty advanced course on cleaning the house by simply singing a song. By courses end you can clean your house by simply sitting on your ass and drinking a beer as long as you sing a peppy little tune in between sips.

5. Advanced Toddler : The Dead Language
Prerequisite: A 3 1/2 year old that thinks made up words are the FUNNIEST THING EVER
By the end of this 12 week course you will not only understand everything she says but you will also find it as freakin' funny as she does. "Twinkle Twinkly Little Pompop" "Daddy is a Fhrugh" will have you rolling on the floor. **A physicians note is required for this course as a large amount of alcohol and drugs are used in the training process**

So, there you have it. My task is complete.

By the rules, I am supposed to tag 5 others....Pass the torch in a way. I actually found this to be the hardest part of this challenge.......

The Sylvester 4 - Big B
You Must Be Joking - C-Rah
Mind Of A Mad Women - Mad Woman Meg
Bill and Jill - Bill and Jill
One.O.Eight- Tacitus
* Link to the person that tagged you.
* Post the rules on your blog
* Blog about the 5 classes you wish they'd have taught in school
* Tag random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
* Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

As a side note....I have, like many others do, a stat counter that tells me the hits this website gets on a daily basis and where they come from. For the amount of traffic I get here....ya'll certainly are quiet.

Come on people....Say Hi!


Anonymous said...

Oh you are evil. But I'll work on it tomorrow. Promise. :-)

Mumma Boo said...

Those are absolutely brilliant!
#1 should be offered annually from about 6th grade on.
#2 - would have saved the heartache of never getting a satisfactory ending to "Now and Again", "Las Vegas" and possibly "The Unit".
#3 - Will I be able to convince her that she REALLY is too old for "Dora" and too young for "Hanna Montana"?
#4 - Can I substitute margaritas for beer?
#5 Does that come with refresher courses for 2nd children?
Thanks for playing!! :-)

Bill (not Jill) said...

Got me! My first such tagging. I'll play...

Heidi said...

I would have been first in line to sign up for classes 3 and 4! :)

Tacitus said...

Sweet Jesus! Do I even know five people I can tag? All right, I'll play, but it'll likely have to wait until after finals (1st week of May). Cool classes by the way.

Love to the family,


MadWoman Meg said...

Wow. Thank you? I have no idea what I'll write but I'll think on it and go from there. I actually only just realised I was tagged.

Hotty Hubby thought your Padawan training course was an excellent one. He had a few class ideas to add of his own, but they were primarily of a sexual nature so I'm not sure they're material to use.

Thanks! I can't wait to get on with this and tag others.