The Mini Van Soap Box

As I've stated in an earlier post, I have a new backyard. I spend a lot of time back there. Digging and planting, mulching and mowing - and for the last few weeks we've been moving around flag stones to even out this very odd 3 level tiered patio thing that the previous owners had built.

Basically what we're trying to do is pulling the pavers out - moving the dirt out and then lowering the paver so it's even with the next level down, so on and so on. Problem is - What we probably could have gotten done in one good weekend - has taken us three weeks to do. It's been 120 degrees and these pavers are HEAVY. Like serious heavy. Throw the weight on top of the heat - and they might as well be 500 pounds each. You can only do a few at a time before you get lightheaded and have to sit down for a break. Where I used to perspire like a girl - I am now full fledge sweating like a man. Literally dripping off my nose - and have large wet spots on my back. It's fairly gross. (the joke now is my husband will say "Eww...I'm sweating like a girl")

We are pretty much done now. It looks great - we just have to figure out where we're going to put all this extra dirt now.......(want some dirt? seriously we have lots) ......However, that isn't exactly the point of my post today.

My backyard is becoming a regular menagerie.

You all know about the rabbits. We also now have proof that we have a big ass freakin' groundhog. The reason we have proof is because at least once every evening I have to throw the back door open and do the groundhog dance - hootin' and hollerin' - waving my arms around trying to get Punxsutawney Phil out of my new garden. After some serious inspection we have found our fence has quite a few spots where the bugger is getting in. We've moved rocks and pavers - filled in the holes, packed it down. However you would be AMAZED how small a huge groundhog can get. So, even the smallest of areas where the fence does not meet the ground is an invitation for this guy. My backyard is eventually going to start looking pretty white trash....with little pieces of wood nailed all over the place - chicken wire and big rocks shoved in all the holes. I might as well take the wheels off the minivan and perch it up on some concrete blocks.

Instead I think I'll call animal control and see what they say - I don't want to have to shoot the damn thing....

The other new living thing we have are seriously the most terrifying things I have ever seen - (with the exception to the wolf spider party that I encountered many years ago). This 'guy' started gracing us with his presence around the time we started messing around with the flagstone patio. At first, I thought they were dragonflys, just because of the size of it. But that didn't make a whole lot of sense. My second thought was it was a cicada....but after closer examination it CLEARLY has a stinger. The damn thing is a WASP!! A mutant 2 inch wasp - and they burrow in the ground. After some internet research it turns out that it's a "Cicada Killer Wasp". Can grow to be two inches long - with at least a three inch wing span. They, as stated by their name, kill cicadas and bring them back into their burrow to feed on. While although "they say" they won't attack humans - it's still extremely disconcerting when they are doing drop bomb attacks at your face. I'm not too much of a girly girl - but these guys scare the crap out of me.

So between me running out the house every night doing the 'groundhog dance' and then swatting at this mutant wasp with whatever is handy (shovel, broom, trying to hit it with the jet stream of the hose - and spraying it with ant killer) - I'm pretty sure that my neighbors must think I'm retarded. Or have a SERIOUS case of Tourette's.