Yours, Mine and MINE Stumble Upon Digg It! Add to Delicious Add to Technorati


I don’t have many girlfriends. Never have. The older I got the more important the few that I did have became.
I got an interesting phone call from one of those said friends today—and it got me thinking about something I haven't thought about in a while.
She’s recently divorced. By recently—I mean about a year. Anyone I know that’s ever been divorced, a year is nothing.
That first year is a lot of things. It’s crying. It’s feeling like a failure. It’s sowing your wild oats (as in my case) or just a basic feeling of ‘what a waste of ‘x’ amount of years’.
So many of us had what we, in my family, now call ‘starter marriages’. That whole dream of being married, the big white gown, the big party—etc. And then reality kicks in.
However, I digress. My point was—the reason she called. Turns out she had to meet with said “X” today (they still have business together). During said meeting he, however casually, mentioned that he was still hanging out with some of her friends.
She wanted me to be pissed with her. And HELL YEA I was.
This is my take.
Friends should be listed in the property settlement papers.
Let’s use an example, shall we.
Let’s say—my older sister and my brother in-law divorce. (which would NEVER happen—because the same alien ship delivered them both to earth )
I love my brother in laws brother—Dave. However, if they split—I lose him. That’s the way it goes.
Not everyone will agree—I know. However, if my sister just split from her husband—and I’m still hanging out with her old brother in law….Just kind of tacky if you ask me.
So, that’s the way it goes. You have to pick sides sometimes. It sucks—and you miss them. Truth be told—I DO miss people from my previous life. I loved his family. I was interested in the person his older brother had become, and was excited to see who his younger brother was going to be.
But those aren't my people anymore. They are his. He gets to keep them. And I get to keep mine.
So, she called…...And I was pissed for and with her. And sometimes that’s what being a friend is all about.